Australia is a wonderful land full of truly outrageous creatures, but none – in my waking days – are more outrageous or magnificent than this truly gargantuan echidna.

The Bonorong Wildlife Sanctuary in southern Tasmania has brought to our attention an exceptionally fat lady; an echidna that was found and brought in for treatment after being clipped by the car. However given the sheer size, the pure heft, the absolute girth on the old girl, the question now begs: What on earth must’ve happened to the damned car?

In a social media post yesterday on Facebook, the sanctuary allowed us a glimpse at the absolute beast; a stout and pudgy Queen, who I will now follow to the ends of the earth.

The Tasmanian short-beaked echidna, for those of you keeping score at home, is already larger and much furrier than its mainland counterparts, owing to Tasmania being Australia’s zoological incubator where shit runs wilder than David Attenborough on half a cup of red fizzy.

But even by most modest estimations, this echidna be a large, large girl. An absolute lump. A wobbly icon. One of the all-time greats.

According to sanctuary staff, the portly princess only had a couple of minor bumps and bruises, and was successfully released back into the wild where, presumably, she is not so much Hoovering up ants as she is Dysoning them into her.

A truly mammoth echidna. A kind and just animal, who I hereby pledge my undying loyalty to.