The last time we checked in on Barron Trump, the ashen-faced young lad forced to endure his upbringing in the clammy, Cheez Whiz-ass palm of the Trump Dynasty purely because President FourLoko’s pharmaceutically-stiffened chode produced just enough ball dust to haul him into the world, he was already reaching new heights by, well, reaching new heights. Two years later and the seldom-seen Large Adolescent Son has again shocked the world by appearing to be the tallest child who ever lived.
[jwplayer EdkXPCYr]
The youngest Trump made a rare outing with his eternally trapped mother and the father who keeps them both in an oversized Filet O Fish box at night (source: none) and my, hasn’t he bloody grown.
Barron was snapped by photographers transferring between Air Force One and Marine One after a lovely family vacation at [checks notes] his Dad’s tawdry golf course in [checks notes] Bedminster, New Jersey.
Stepping off the no-doubt musty-smelling Presidential chopper, Barron appears significantly taller than his Dear Old Dad now, which for a 13-year-old is a pretty remarkable thing.
Press photos from the White House arrival show that Young Trump is now clearly capable of dunking on his old man, which is a premium TikTok I would sell all my earthly possessions to watch.
Look at the sheer size of the lad.
Insane stuff. A burgeoning beast of a lad.
Ridiculous. A heaving child. What on earth are they feeding him.
Alright this one is stair-assisted but you get the idea.
At 13-years-old, Barron Trump now easily clears Melania in those photos, who is both reportedly 180cm tall and wearing fuck off stilettos in those photos.
Now, however, he’s even eclipsing the height of The Donald himself, who reportedly stands at a shade over 190cm tall.
Going by that, Barron is currently around 35-40cm taller than the average child his age, which is a real bloody thing.
Is it weird to dedicate an entire series of articles to gawking at this truly unusual beanpole? Perhaps. But the bottom line is this, folks: Barron Trump is a tall-ass child. You simply cannot deny it.
