Ever taken stock of your love of bacon and thought to yourself “I’m not doing enough to let people know how much I love bacon“?
Your sour days are nearly over, friend!
Sydney’s annual celebration of all things bacon and delicious known as the Bacon Brewfest is fast approaching, with the event scheduled for February 27th; a warm summer’s day full of crispy, fatty delights.
This could be you, basically.
Except outside. And all day long.
But what happens once the great feasting is complete? How do you just go back to your everyday, ordinary life? One that is not filled wall-to-ceiling with bacon?
WHAT THEN, DEAR GOD?
Stop panicking. This year’s Bacon Brewfest has got bacon-themed swag out the pig’s wazoo for you to purchase, take home, and proudly display your bacon affections in every aspect of your life.
What’s that? What products have they created and infused with the candy of meats? GLAD YOU ASKED. We’ve got the EXCLUSIVE lowdown on what you can get your greasy mitts on.
Teeth too pepperminty? Want the delicious scent of bacon on your breath after brushing?
BACON TOOTHPASTE.
Want to carry that delicious odour over to the rest of your earthly body? Prefer your natural musk to be Eau de Bacon?
BACON BODYWASH.
Can’t find the perfect accessories that beautifully compliment that streaky red dress you have tucked away for a special, meat-filled occasion?
BACON EARRINGS.
Ears not pierced, but still wanna get in on that steez?
BACON PINS.
Want the most disgusting, mystifying, horrifically horny experience of your life?
50 SHADES OF BACON.
Want a little on the go treat that’s packed with the flavour of your favourite meat?
BACON LOLLIPOPS.
Want clean teeth unburdened by flecks of leftover food, but still want to maintain the glorious just-ate-bacon glow?
BACON FLAVOURED TOOTHPICKS.
But the list does stop there – oh no. There’s bacon stickytape, bacon candy, bacon POPPING candy, a bacon-scented moustache, bacon lip balm, bacon soap, bacon floss, bacon mints, bacon air fresheners, a bacon board game, and that’s just barely scraping the surface.
Seriously, there’s even gonna be some ledge on deck making up BACON ROSES for your boo.
ROSES.
MADE OF BACON.
COME ON.
Bacon Brewfest goes down Saturday, Feb 27th at Central Park in Chippendale.
Get around all the vital details at the festival website.
Source: Supplied.
