Avoid Being ‘That Guy’ During Festival Season W/ This Essentials Checklist

IKEA is life, so we teamed up with them to tell y’all about their new festival swag called SPRIDD. Find out more below and keep your aesthetic strong by following IKEA on Insta HERE


Are you that guy who doesn’t bother bringing toothpaste because you know one of your mates will have it sorted?

When they forget it too (and ya’ teeth are furrier than Modigliana The Cat), the truth remains the same: IT’S YOUR FAULT AND YOU BLOODY WELL KNOW IT. Y u no be more prepared for? 

While we know this isn’t anyone’s first festival rodeo – if you’re reading this, it means it’s the first time you’ve been bothered to actually prepare for the festivities.

Don’t screw up your first real effort at thinking ahead. The below list for festival season will have you as prepared as a franga.

TICKET AND ID
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. If you forget these two things, you’re a lost cause and beyond our help. Sorry. 

COLD HARD CASH
Go to the ATM before you get to the campsite, or you’ll come across as annoying, or worse – a scab.

PORTABLE PHONE CHARGER
Your that guy status will go up at least 10 notches if you make your friends wait for you at a phone-charging tent. Nup. Phones die. So do friendships. 

TORCH / HEADLAMP
Your phone light might sort you if it’s charged (but knowing you it won’t be), but it doesn’t hurt to have backup light. Honestly, it’d be pretty horrible to go pee-pee in the middle of the night – thinking that you were in a good spot – only to wake up and find out you’ve soiled your Day 2 outfit. A torch or headlamp will ensure you know where your whizz is taking place.

SUNSCREEN
Look, you’re going to be off it when your face looks like a rip-off Birkin three hours into your 72-hour adventure. Sunburn hurts and will ruin all of your Insta photos thereafter. Filters can only help your excuse for a face so much, you guys.

SUNNIES
Other than being sun protection, shades help hide at least 30% of your noggin – a noggin which, let’s face it, you won’t be bothered touching up during the day.

TENT

A photo posted by @reneeipa on


Yeah, you’re probably going to need somewhere to sleep if it’s a camping festival (which aren’t these days?). IKEA has just released a new camping range with British designer Kit Neale HERE that’ll make your mates forget you were ever that guy.

EXTRA TENT PEGS
They’re just like bobby pins. You can have a mill but continually struggle to find just one. Shelter is more important than, you know, loose hair though.

NUROFEN
Ain’t nobody got time for a headache.

GAFFA TAPE
Aka miracle tape. Things break, and gaffa tape almost always works as a bandaid solution.

TOILET PAPER
Sometimes the logistical coordinators underestimate our bowel movements. Best to be prepared. Tissue packs are a good one for taking on-site with you, and – shock horror – you can blow your nose with ’em too.

HAND SANITISER
If there’s no toilet paper, chances are that there’ll be no soap either. God knows what filth you’ll pick up at a festival anyway.

A LIGHTER
Even if you don’t smoke, it’s a certified pick-up tool and money maker. People will pay you for scarce items on-ground.

BIN BAGS
From wet clothes to general waste, bin bags will be your saviour. Did you also know they can quadruple up as gumboots (fang em over whatever you brought), ponchos (rip some holes for the arm n’ head and voila) and anything else your creative mind can think of.

GUMBOOTS
Just in case, OK? They’ll be exxy on site, and the closest supermarket to the destination will be sold out. Get ’em at home.

EXTRA UNDIES
Accidents happen.

THONGS
Tinea is not OK and if you’re going to get it, it’ll be in the showers at a festival.

SOCKS
Avoid blisters and cold feet at night. It’s not rocket science.

LIP BALM / PAPAW
No one wants to kiss chapped lips. Plus, dry lips are just all-round irritating and unfavourable. Papaw will double up as some soothing cream for ‘dem rogue mosquitoes too. 

FIRST AID KIT
Better to be safe than sorry. 

WET WIPES
Panda eyes are cool and all, except that they’re not.

DRY SHAMPOO
Because it’s way easier than washing your hair and far more aesthetically pleasing than drowned-rat style grease.

TOWELS
A towel will come in handy for everything from showers to spillages and extra warmth (might rain, y’never know). If I was you I’d pack a few, and the microfibre kind absorb and dry super quick.

DISPOSABLE PONCHOS
Raincoats are pretty ugly (with a few Gorman + Asos exceptions) so don’t worry about forking out for the legit stuff. Buy a few cheap disposables so you are less susceptible to getting the flu when you return back to your 9-5. Umbrellas are, of course, a big ol’ no-no for festivals.

SNAKCS
Midnight munchies are real, people. Go ham on family packs of all kinds – Shapes, LeSnacks, Sesame Snaps, Kettle, Golden Circle poppas (or fruit boxes if you’re so inclined) – anything that was good enough for Recess is good enough for Falls

FOLD-UP CHAIRS
Sure, you can make do, but comfort is hard to come by at festivals. Do yourself a favour.

ESKY
THE MOST USEFUL OF THE THINGS. Good for the food. Good for the booze. Good for the bums that need something to sit on. 

NOT-SO-PERSIHABLE FOOD
You could go all out with the stone frying pan (so much easier to cook / clean afterwards) and portable stovetop. Extra points to you if you do. Make sure you get snags, eggs, cooking oil etc to go along with it. Alternatively, you’d be surprised what you can whip up with canned food like tuna, corn, beans, peas etc. Add a loaf of bread in the mix and you’re golden.

CUTLERY
Plastic is good because you can toss it straight after, but legit kitchenware is good too. Just remember to bring dishwashing liquid, a sponge, a tray and general energy to clean up after yourself if you choose the latter.

WATER
So, so, so, so, so, soooooo important. It’s a tale as old as time that water at a festival is overpriced considering it’s, you know, water so get as many water bottles as humanly possible beforehand. 

Now if you forget anything, you can blame me. I’d be happy to take a call from your fully charged phone.

Photo: Facebook / Splendour In The Grass.

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