The shittest towns in all of Australia have been officially revealed and I’m honestly shocked that my hometown didn’t make the list. Let’s show some more hate for NSW’s Riverstone, please!!!
Every year Shit Towns Of Australia conducts a poll on Facebook to find the shittest towns in the country and the results are always shit-hot.
So far every state and territory has been completed except for NSW (which opened its polling a couple of days ago), but at least we can look at the other results in horror.
Without further ado, here are the shittest towns in Australia as voted by Aussies:
Queenstown, Tas
Queenstown, much like its namesake, is quite a dead, rotting host of unspeakable horrors.
It received 23 per cent of the votes for shittest town in Tasmania.
“We went through Queenstown once and it was like a scene out of Deliverance,” wrote one Facebook user.
“Hubby wanted to stop for a look around and I’m like nope, this town has a hills have eyes vibe, I’ll stay in the car with the doors locked thanks,” wrote another.
Alice Springs, NT
When Alice went to Wonderland you better believe she did NOT go here.
Alice Springs received a massive 24.9 per cent of all the votes for shittest town in the NT.
“As an Alice resident, I can confirm it’s a well-deserved win,” wrote one Facebook user.
“Can’t be too hard when the entire state only has two towns to choose between,” wrote another.
Frankston, Vic
You don’t often see towns with seaside views and beaches wind up at the top of the “shittest towns” lists but somehow Frankston has done just that. Technically, it isn’t even a town and is part of Greater Melbourne. I guess folks hate it that much.
Frankston won the poll with 12 per cent of the votes, which isn’t much but you have to consider the fact that Victoria has a LOT of competition when it comes to shithole towns.
“Beating Morwell and Moe is a hell of an achievement,” wrote one Facebook user.
“A body was found behind the Frankston Library. Locals were shocked! None of them knew they even had a library!” wrote another.
Port Hedland, WA
There are three things in this world that I love: ports, head and being on land. Apparently when you mix all three together, however, you do not get a very fun time. In fact, you get shit.
Also known as the “Poo of the Pilbara”, mining town Port Hedland managed to receive 16 per cent of all votes for shittest WA town, putting it at the top. Some people just can’t handle their wild heat and excessive amounts of dust in the air.
“Agree. You would be hard-pressed to find a worse place,” wrote one Facebook user.
Port Pirie, SA
For the third year in a row Port Pirie lands at the top spot for shittest town in South Australia, scoring 22.7 per cent of the votes.
“Congrats! Never been there. Never will,” wrote one Facebook user.
“Congratulations Pirie it’s the only prize you’ll ever win,” wrote another.
Fyshwick, ACT
For the entire time that I lived in the ACT the only thing I knew about Fyshwick was that it had a fish market, which seemed apt. However, I was too busy turning my car around annoying roundabouts to ever visit (I lived in Turner).
“Originally built as a concentration camp for German prisoners in 1918, the eerily uninhabited suburb of Fyshwick is a great place to buy a used car to do a drive-by, a shipment of no-longer-legal fireworks or a bale of hardcore pornography,” wrote Shit Towns of Australia.
The humble “town” of Fyshwick received 26.2 per cent of all votes, despite having a population of about 60 people.
“Fyshie’s just an industrial area, not really a contender,” wrote one Facebook user.
“Nobody lives in Fyshwick. How utterly absurd that it’s even on this list!” wrote another.
