Hi, I’m your weather girl, and do I have news for you. This weekend is going to be a Grade-A scorcher across the entirety of Australia. With a lot of people planning to go away for a mini-holiday, it’s good to know just how hot things are going to be. Spoiler: Pretty fucking hot.

We’ve got UV indexes of 11-15 across the entire weekend, which in layman’s terms means we’ve got UV indexes of extreme to extreme. That’s pretty fun, but also the usual for the sunburnt country we call home.

But hey, let’s go over every single capital city across Australia and have a gander at how goddamn hot this place is going to get. Maybe it’s time to change your weekend plans to a beach getaway instead of someplace humid and yuck.

All forecasts are from the Australian Bureau of Meteorology.

Sydney

Hello Sydney legends, I’m sure it will surprise you none that this weekend is going to melt the skin off your very bones. UV index will reach around 12, which means it’s time to slip, slop and slap, and the minimum temperatures are going to be around the twenties, which basically implies that at best, we’ll have a pleasant day, and at worst, a scorcher.

Sat: Min 21, Max 30

Sun: Min 22, Max 33

Mon: Min 21, Max 32

Melbourne

So essentially, Saturday isn’t going to be too hot for you lot, but it only gets worse from there. Sunday will potentially reach a max of 38, which is one of the hottest temps across the country. You know what that means? Beach. Straight to the beach.

Sat: Min 15, Max 29

Sun: Min 16, Max 38

Mon: Min 24, Max 31

Brisbane

Yeah, it’s gonna get hot in BrisVegas, but at the worst it’s going to be an uncomfortably warm day. Really it’s just a pleasant batch of summer days without much chance of rain, so enjoy it while it lasts.

Sat: Min 20, Max 30

Sun: Min 21, Max 30

Mon: Min 22, Max 29

Perth

Pretty good weather is coming for you Perth, you lucky little devils. In fact, it will barely be a scorcher at all for you folks, so just enjoy your weekend. Maybe pack a hoodie as well because it doesn’t look like the sun will be fucking up your plans any time soon.

Sat: Min 19, Max 27

Sun: Min 15, Max 27

Mon: Min 19, Max 26

Adelaide

Hell really is a place on Earth. Things are going to get absolutely batshit over the weekend, with maximum heats of 41 being a very real possibility. To make things worse the winds are going to be quite intense, which basically spells out mad gusts of HEAT.

Sat – Min 20, Max 39

Sun – Min 27, Max 41

Mon – Min 25, Max 31

Hobart

Essentially it’s going to be a lovely set of days for you Hobartians, which is pretty much true for every other day of the year for you all. No heatwave no problem.

Sat – Min 14, Max 26

Sun – Min 15, Max 27

Mon – Min 19, Max 26

Canberra

The home of hot men and even hotter days. With low minimums and super high maximum temperatures, things could go either way on the weekend, but it’s most likely that the heat will be ON.

Sat – Min 14, Max 37

Sun – Min 17, Max 38

Mon – Min 20, Max 39

Darwin

The highest UV index of any other city with a whopping 15 in the extreme zone. Please, please, please stay sun safe. This weekend is not the time to play around. This heatwave is going to kick ass and take names.

Sat – Min 25, Max 32 (UV index 15)

Sun – Min 25, Max 32

Mon – Min 24, Max 32

Image: Getty Images / boonchai wedmakawand, Tom Williams