Mary’s vs Huxtaburger, Brodburger vs Chur Burger, McDonald’s ‘getting all fancy’ on us…. Aussies fucking love a good burger.
Our passion for a hunk of juicy meat between two buns borders on sexual, and the number of American-style diners serving burgers the Yanky Doodle way – sweet, soft buns, dollops of mustard, and pickles a-plenty – is getting ridic.
Marshall Eriksen is all of us…
But we’re being discriminated against, pals. The burger chain supreme of the United States, Shake Shack, has opened in nine countries round the world – but not Down Under. Um, don’t mean to be rude, but WTF is that about?
Seeking to end this imbalance of justice, News Corp is now on a mission to get Shake Shack to Australia.
“On behalf of the nation’s burger aficionados, we implore Shake Shack chief executive Randy Garutti to make the move Down Under and take a bite from our $4 billion burger market.”
Old mate knows what’s up:
Finding ourselves in the unusual position of siding with the Murdoch Media, this is one cause we can absolutely get behind: Shake Shack, SORT YOUR SHIT OUT. We want you, in and around our country. We want you climbing in our laneways, snatching our dollars up. We want you to pick us. Choose us. Love us. Please?
If this helps sway your decision in any way, here’s a 100% accurate representation of what we’ll look like, all up in your joints:
[P.S. We’ve reached out to Shake Shack for answers. Stay tuned, pals. Stay strong.]
Picture: via Shake Shack / Facebook.