Archeologists May Have Found The IRL Tomb Of Santa, Who Is One Dead SOB

Innocent tiny babies DO NOT READ THIS… Cool-ass legends searching through Mum & Dad’s wardrobe in mid-December, what up.

Archeologists in Turkey have reportedly located the “likely” burial place of Saint Nicholas, meaning the tomb of the world’s most notorious break-and-enter artist Santa Claus might soon be uncovered.

Archeological surveying conducted at the Saint Nicholas Church in the Antalya province of Turkey, the historic church which was the birthplace of St. Nick, has reportedly uncovered an intact temple and burial grounds beneath the building, leading to the theory that the grounds are the burial place of the Roman Empire-era Saint.

The existing church is located in the Demre district of Antalya; a region that was built on the ruins of the historic Myra, the city where Saint Nicholas is believed to have lived.

Documents obtained by Turkish archeologists indicate that the body of Saint Nicholas may still be buried beneath the church in the area, rather than in Bari in Italy where the Saint Nicholas Basilica stands.

A fresh round of surveying in the area revealed the ruins of the temple beneath the church in Turkey, giving rise to the theory that Saint Nicholas’ may be in there virtually undisturbed. Cemil Karabayram, the director of surveying and monuments in in Antayla, stated his hopefulness of locating the burial site of the Saint, noting that much work still needs to be done: “We have obtained very good results but the real work starts now. We will reach the ground and maybe we will find the untouched body of Saint Nicholas.

Saint Nicholas’ much-fabled gift-giving was the impetus for the rise of the Sinterklaas legend in the Netherlands; a legend that evolved into the modern-day Santa Claus after Dutch immigrants popularised it in the US.

So there you have it: Santa is definitely dead and his body is buried beneath a semi-ruined church in Turkey, literal eons away from the North pole.

Merry Christmas.