A fascinating and insightful essay has popped up on The Monthly today, delving into the untold stories behind the iconic Sydney Opera House.

Whilst a lot of it explores the spatial shortcomings and shithouse acoustics that have plagued it since day dot, one surprising snippet of wisdom also unearthed is that people are relentlessly trying to fuck the Opera House.

The article from arts writer Darryn King gives voice to numerous perspectives on the signature piece of Sydney architecture ahead of its upcoming gigantic renovations, talking to past directors, orchestra members, actors and staff, the latter of which reveals this completely wild piece of history.

Espousing on the unforeseen upkeep required to keep the uniquely structured building in ship shape (lol), King touches on the many, many intricacies of its maintenance:

every five years, its 1,056,006 roof tiles require individual inspective prodding with a rubber hammer, a process that is undertaken manually; or that a three-person team needs to be permanently occupied with the maintenance of the building’s bronze

And then, the crème de la crème:

There is also the need to defend the building against the indecent amorous attentions of the occasional too-enthusiastic visitor, for whom the concrete crevices are, it seems, erotically irresistible. (Louise Herron [Opera House CEO] declined to discuss the issue of “objectophiles” on the record.)

WUUUUUUUUUUUT.

It is a KNOWN thing that visitors, on enough occasions for it to be considered a legit problem, stick their dicks into crevices in the Sydney Opera House????

People try to fuck the Opera House in such quantities that it requires “defending”?

Are their hired staff guarding the great white sails against boners?

I have too many questions to even begin to be honest.

The article is available online and in this month’s print edition of The Monthly and I can’t recommend it more for anyone into Sydney history, art, architecture, or, I suppose, fucking buildings.

Check it out in full here.

Source: The Monthly
Image: Getty Images / Mark Kolbe