Convicted Australian drug smuggler Andrew Chan, who is currently awaiting execution on Indonesia’s Nusakambangan island, has written a heartbreaking letter to his 15-year-old self, reflecting on the decisions that landed him on death row.
The Age have printed portions of the letter, which Chan’s friend, filmmaker Melinda Rutter, convinced him to write before his transfer to the execution island. Rutter says she plans to use the text in an upcoming drug education film.
“Your family and your friends are heartbroken and your life will be ended by a firing squad,” the 31-year-old wrote. “This happened to you because you thought taking drugs was cool.”
“Underneath, you’re not a bad person and drugs made you different,” he continued, as he wrote about the “agony” he has caused both himself and his loved ones.
“I have missed weddings. I’ve missed funerals and the simple presence of my own family,” he wrote. “The hurt and pain – I don’t just put it on to myself. But the pain I put on my family is agonising.”
“A simple touch, such as a hug, is not possible for a condemned man like me. I have nothing but an iron bar to hug rather than to be embraced by those I love and who I miss.”
“They are totally reformed and this is totally genuine,” Rutter said of Chan and his fellow Australian inmate Myuran Sukumaran.
“That’s what’s so sad. I’m losing a friend, someone who could have made such a difference with drug education, who’s been there, who’s done it, who’s made the wrong choices.”
Footage recently emerged of Chan, shot several weeks ago inside his former residence of Kerobokan prison, as he reflected on the possibility of a second chance following the execution of several other prisoners.
Chan and Sumukaran’s families will be allowed to visit them on Nusakambangan for the first time today. The pair will have their final appeal heard in a Jakarta court from Thursday this week.
Photo: Sonny Tumbelaka via Getty Images
