An Exhaustive List Of ‘Never Have I Ever’ Q’s To Get You Munt-Daddy

Regardless of how often you engage with this coming-of-age, authentically Australian pastime, I think we can all agree that there’s always one Basic Betty who ruins fucking everything:

*pauses for suspense*

*explosively cackles*

*everyone fucking drinks*

There’s one person, however, who’s far worse than the unimaginative fuck-wit just mentioned. Let’s call them, Clueless Carol:

*30 second pause*

Well done, you’ve just ruined the game’s flow. GET. YOUR. SHIT. TOGETHER. CAROL.

To make sure Basic Bettys and Clueless Carols don’t ruin your odds of getting fuck-eyed this long weekend, we’ve compiled a list of Never Have I Ever questions that strike a balance between pop culture (’cause it’s our noise) + the dirty shit y’all know and love. Remember kids, don’t get distracted – you’re playing this game for a reason:

1. Never have I ever imagined what I’d look like in Christina Aguilera‘s ass-less chaps featured in the music video for her hit song, Dirrty.
2. Never have I ever felt personally victimised by Mike Baird and / or Regina George?
3. Never have I ever made a friend watch a TV show that I KNOW they’re going to love, only to have them be distracted the entire time.
4. Never have I ever kicked a friend out of my home for being distracted when I’ve made them watch a TV show.
5. Never have I ever, not only worn Crocs, but felt fabulous in them too.
6. Never have I ever owned a Motorola flip-phone.
7. Never have I ever sexually fantasised about someone in this room.
8. Never have I ever acted on aforementioned sexual fantasies.
9. Never have I ever bent over in front of a mirror to see what’s hip-hop-happening back there.
10. Never have I ever seen my parents do the sex.
11. Never have I ever done the sex in my parents’ bed.
12. Never have I ever done the sex in a siblings bed.
13. Never have I ever had literally zero recollection of the night before.
14. Never have I ever peed in the shower while shouting “YOLOOOOOOO” at the top of my lungs.
15. Never have I ever thought about gettin’ freaky with a teacher, tutor or lecturer. 
16. Never have I ever had a tac-yack after necking too much gunch (goon punch, fools).
17. Never have I ever woken up in fuck-all clothing on the side of the street. 
18. Never have I ever had diarrhoea and vomited simultaneously.
19. Never have I ever liked any of you fucking people.
20. Never have I ever played this game.
21. Never have I ever injected one whole marijuana.
22. Never have I ever slept with someone in this room.
23. Never have I ever slept with someone in this room and regretted it.
24. Never have I ever masturbated on an airplane.
25. Never have I ever taken a selfie.
26. Never have I ever strategically uploaded a selfie at a time in which I believe it’ll get the most likes.
27. Never have I ever watched or read Harry Potter.
28. Never have I ever watched porn with someone else.
29. Never have I ever had sex with someone 10+ years older than me.
30. Never have I ever slept with someone within an hour of meeting them.
31. Never have I ever watched every episode of Sex and the City.
32. Never have I ever been called the Samantha of my group.
33. Never have I ever been called the Carrie of my group.
34. Never have I ever been called the Charlotte of my group.
35. Never have I ever been called the Miranda of my group.
36. Never have I ever been explosively furious about being considered the Miranda of my group.
37. Never have I ever had a fall-out with a close group of friends because they’ve all unanimously agreed I’m the Miranda of the group and I’m not going to take that shit from no one.
38. Never have I ever refrained from brushing my teeth because I’m not ready to commit to not eating for the rest of the evening.
39. Never have I ever completed my assignment two weeks in advance, sought feedback from my tutor, had several friends proof-read it and score a high mark. 
40. Never have I ever had a good chuckle at the last question, but also momentarily examined my existence and contemplated what in fuck’s name I’m doing with my life.
41. Never have I ever repurposed a common household item as a sex toy.
42. Never have I ever slept with someone on account of their impressive social media following.
43. Never have I ever thought anyone who refers to themselves as a social influencer should be put out of their misery.
44. Never have I ever required medical attention because there was a foreign object stuck inside me.
45. Never have I ever increased or decreased the number of people I’ve slept with.
46. Never have I ever been inappropriately drunk at work drinks.
47. Never have I ever been inappropriately drunk at an intimate family gathering.
48. Never have I ever triple-dropped smacky dingoes at an intimate family gathering.
49. Never have I ever witnessed my grandmother get so fuck-eyed she took her wig off.
50. Never have I ever uttered the phrase, “do you know who the fuck I am?”.
51. Never have I ever earnestly said, “I WILL RUIN YOU”.
52. Never have I ever been a home-schooled jungle freak.
53. Never have I ever been moved to tears by one of Adele’s songs whilst severely inebriated.
54. Never have I ever lost my virginity in a situation with more than one person.
55. Never have I ever participated in a spastic eagle (if you don’t know what it is, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT GOOGLE THAT SHIT).
56. Never have I ever opened Blue Waffle on someone’s computer in high school.
57. Never have I ever caught some shut-eye whilst giving or receiving fellatio.
58. Never have I ever thought Tom Hardy is the most legendary / baller cunt to have ever existed.
59. Never have I ever told a friend they look good, even though they look like a polished turd, just so I can get my ass to the club.
60. Never have I ever had sex in the back of a Balinese taxi.
61. Never have I ever pretend I was in a music video while staring out the window of any given form of public transport (most likely listening to 50 Cent). 
62. Never have I ever strategically thought of instances in which I can drop “boo-urns” to impress others.
63. Never have I ever punched a dart.
64. Never have I ever rolled a joint even Bob Marley would be impressed by.
65. Never have I ever touched a vagina with my tongue.