Today marks the two year anniversary of the death of Jill Meagher. The below was originally published on September 28th, 2012 by one of our writers (/one of the best humans in existence) and has always stayed with us as a story worth sharing; a story that could really, really help people.
It is an acutely sad feeling to know there are evil people in the world. Today we learned an innocent 29-year-old woman was raped and murdered in what we know so far to be a random act by a stranger acting on a whim. I think that is the part of the Jill Meagher story that is so incomprehensibly fucked up, that this crime may have been a completely unmotivated impulsive act by an opportunistic psychopath. The truth is these things happen. And they happen to people like you and me.
I got abducted when I was 19.
After the Jill Meagher story broke I saw a tweet by a girl that said “I’m never leaving the house again” and it made me angry. How dare the person who did this to Ms Meagher make women feel this kind of fear?
I want to share my experience with you because I learned some stuff that might be good to know if something similar ever happens to you. And because I care about the safety of innocent women. And because we live in Australia not Syria, and girls – and guys – like you and me should not be afraid to leave the house.
The most important thing to come out of Jill Meagher’s case is the amount of times this has happened to women before and there’s been silence. The more aware women are about the fact that these things happen the better. And if one day you are the victim of a random attack the more equipped you are, even if it’s with information that seems stupid or obvious, the better. So let’s start with the obvious.
The night I was abducted I had been out at some all-day event and I was drunk (as happens when you imbibe barrels of champagne in the sun), and got the train to the station closest to where I lived in Brisbane at the time. Instead of getting a cab to take me from the station to my place – about a 3 kilometre journey – I decided to walk home to save the $9 or so dollars in cab fare.
Lesson #1: Life Is Short. Don’t Be A Tightarse. Get a fucking taxi, ladies. Put it on your credit card. Borrow a twenty from a mate. In hindsight, if I hadn’t been such a pov bastard I wouldn’t have needed to be treated for PTSS by an expensive mental health professional. Cabs are cheaper than fixing a busted personality. No offense, Me.
Here I should probably mention Lesson #2: Accept A Lift From Friends, No Matter How Insincere The Offer. Apparently some friends had offered Jill Meagher a ride home the night she was murdered – an offer that she declined. She lived within walking distance and had walked home from the area a million times before – so why make friends go out of their way? I’m going to be presumptuous and say that every single one of you has on one occasion or another declined a ride home for the exact same reason. This morning on a breakfast television show a talking head speculated on how the friends who had offered Meagher a ride would be feeling and it made me sick for them. Remember this next time you’re in this position; your friends will be far more inconvenienced if something terrible happens to you than by the petrol it took to get you home.
I was a small shickered teenage girl wobbling home when about 1,500 metres from my destination a person pulled me into a car. It took about 30 seconds to realise that I was actually in the backseat of a completely unfamiliar car with two men I had never seen before in my life. That sobered me up pretty quickly, and when the car started heading toward the bushland on Brisbane’s Mount Coot-tha I realised I was probably going to be at least raped, if not hurt or killed.
At this point I was starting to ruminate about how deep in the bush I’d be buried and whether police would ever find my body and about how incredibly sad and beautiful my funeral would be. Typical narcissistic teenager. Luckily, the other distinctly teenage quality I possessed was pathological dishonesty. Lesson #3: Say Anything That Might Help You Escape.
I started to really panic when I knew they were taking me into the bushland. I told them I needed to pee, was really busting and that they could hold me so I couldn’t escape and that if I wet my pants my DNA would be all over the car. That worked and it’s the reason I got away. I’ve heard stories about women who have avoided getting raped because they told the attacker that they were HIV-positive. Keep that one in your back pocket. No one wants to have sex with someone with an infectious incurable disease, and they probably will avoid anything that might make you bleed a lot too. That attitude is pragmatic to the point of being insensitive, but if it can save a woman from getting violently assaulted then it’s something you should know.
Lesson #4: Assess Your Weapons. An efficiently wielded high heeled shoe can properly fuck someone up. Keys can break the skin. Handbags and purses can be swung from a distance. A jumper and shirt sleeve can probably strangle someone. If you are ever in this kind of danger you need to use what you have on your person to cause whomever is attacking you enough pain so you can make a break for it.
I was pulled out of the car by the man in the passenger seat and he held onto my arm while I pretended to urinate thinking about the time my cousin Sam told me about the best way to attack a person when I was about 12 (FYI he told me because I did years of ballet and could do the splits between two chairs like Jean Claude Van Damme and he thought I would make a good ultimate fighter. Seriously.)
Lesson #5: Know Attack Points. Eyes. Throat. Groin. Always aim to inflict pain on those parts of the body of your attacker because they will do the most damage. That’s what Sam told me. And I remembered it when I got out of a crouching position and swung my bag into that man’s head, and when he kind of landed on top of me I rammed my knee up into his groin and stabbed my hands at his eyes and throat. He let me go because I’d really got him in the balls, and I scampered into a standing position and ran toward the street.
Lesson #6: Run. My shoes had come off at some point and the place the car stopped for my toilet break was a dirt carpark, but I can’t remembering feeling anything when I sprinted across the rocks into the middle of the nearest street, where I stood under the brightest light I could see, and screamed and waved at the cars going past. It took about five cars for someone to stop and help – which I can understand. I was shoeless and screaming which is a look usually attributed to escaped mental patients in movies.
Lesson #7: Look After Each Other. Just look after each other and be aware that there are some fucked up people in the world who might want to hurt you for no reason. You can’t let that stop you from living your life. Just be conscious of it, and always always look after your friends.
My thoughts are with the family, friends and loved ones of Ms Meagher, and anyone else effected by this tragedy. The best thing you can do if you ever experience or are witness to an unprovoked attack or abduction attempt is reporting it to the police immediately.
Do whatever you have to do to be safe and do whatever you have to do so that you don’t feel helpless.
To anonymously report information on a crime call 1800 333 000 or head to Crime Stoppers. To help contribute to the un-ending campaign of eradicating violence against women from within our society, please consider visiting and contributing to organisations like White Ribbon.
