America, what the fuck.
Organic ~trendy~ foodstuffs outlet Trader Joe’s has a new summer snack on the market: Puff Dogs. It’s described as “an uncured beef hot dog swaddled in a perfectly flaky-when-cooked puff pastry”, is a great snack to serve at any upcoming 4th of July parties, and, oh yeah, is very obviously a sausage roll with a stupid fucking name.
It’s not like Americans don’t know what a sausage roll is, either. Just two years ago, the New York Times published a 13-step, 26-ingredient recipe for making the snacks. Trader Joe’s cannot claim wilful ignorance here.
The Americans think they have invented something called a Puff Dog.
A. It’s a SAUSAGE ROLL and
B. That’s a shit name. pic.twitter.com/ggkVR35qXo
— Matt White (@mattyfwhite) June 24, 2017
Sausage rolls can reportedly be traced back to the 16th Century in England, but they are literally one of the most popular snacks in both the UK and Australia. A whopping 2.5 million of the suckers are sold every week by just one bakery chain in the UK (Greggs), and while stats aren’t actually available for Australia, there’s not a frozen goods aisle in the country not stacked to the brim with the delicious meaty rolls. We bloody hoover the things up.
Obviously, both Brits and Aussies are goddamn livid that some American company is trying to rebrand a staple of our (admittedly poor) diet.
Not only is the name stupid ‘puff dogs’ but the fact Americans think they invented this new snack is worse It’s a sausage roll jog on pet
— fariah?? (@FariahHanif) June 24, 2017
So the Americans recently invented the #puffdog
— Matthew Paul Curran (@matthew8612) June 24, 2017
Having a sausage roll
Can’t believe they’re available in my village so soon after the Americans invented them. ??
— Police Community (@PolComForum) June 26, 2017
— Aaron (@Airc83) June 23, 2017
America has “invented” the sausage roll and called it a puff dog. Electing Trump as president is one thing but this just takes the biscuit.
— Calum McSwiggan (@CalumMcSwiggan) June 26, 2017
Greggs finest #PuffDog for lunch. Noice.
God Bless America or something pic.twitter.com/inWCZ7PV5S
— Alex (@alexnicholson7) June 25, 2017
Right now, the Trader Joe’s website is down, which I’d wager a guess is thanks to literally half the world investigating what other classic snacks they’ve rebranded into something stupid. Honestly though. Really quite excited for their next invention, the ‘Tinkerbell Squares’.
Photo: Trader Joe’s.