A Remote Amazonian Tribe Is Suffering A Porn Addiction Crisis Thanks To Rich Idiot Elon Musk

Amazon Tribe Elon Musk Internet

A remote Amazon tribe is said to be suffering from social media and porn addiction, eight months after first gaining access to the internet. 

ICYMI, the 2000-member Marubo tribe, located around the Ituí River in Brazil, had for centuries preserved a traditional way of life as one of the most isolated communities on the planet. That was until Elon Musk — who seemingly isn’t content with simple vacations to space — launched his satellite-internet service, Starlink, near the region in September 2023.

Perhaps unsurprisingly for a soon-to-be trillionaire who criminally rebranded Twitter (‘X’, seriously?), the results haven’t been as fruitful as Musk might’ve guessed. In a new investigation by The New York Times, Marubo tribe leader Tsainama Marubo detailed the consequences of internet access on the community, citing issues like social media and porn addiction, as well as general antisocial behaviour. 

Amazon Tribe Porn Addiction After Getting Internet
Marubo tribe youngsters (probably) discovering the ‘Office Siren’ aesthetic. (Image: Victor Moriyama/ New York Times)

In what reads like an episode of Black Mirror, Tsainama said the tribe was initially “happy” with their newfound connectivity, but that things “have gotten worse” in the months since becoming netizens. “Young people have gotten lazy because of the internet,” he said. “They’re learning the ways of the white people.”

One elder cited increased “aggressive sexual behaviour” among some young men who exchanged porn videos, while another shared concerns over exposure to violent first-person shooter video games. Youngsters in the community are also said to be communicating with strangers on social media (they found Omegle already?) as well as falling victim to online scams — which is increasingly becoming a canon event.

NYT Investigates Marubo Tribe Internet Access
NYT journalist Jack Nicas investigated internet use among the Marubo tribe. (Image: @jnicas/ Instagram)

“It changed the routine so much that it was detrimental,” elder Enoque Marubo surmised. While the community’s discovery of the internet’s dark side was perhaps to be expected (since society is sick, generally speaking), some members have defended the installation of Starlink. Proponents told The New York Times that the internet has allowed the tribe to share educational resources and reach out for help in case of emergencies, the latter of which has “saved lives”.

“I think the internet will bring us much more benefit than harm,” Enoque said, “at least for now.”

So new to the internet game, it remains to be seen how wide-reaching the effects of the internet will be for the Marubo tribe, but we sure as shit hope they don’t find out about Two Girls, One Cup.

Image Source: Getty Image/Apu Gomes and Victor Moriyama/ New York Times