If you don’t know who Elijah Daniel is, we kindly ask that you step up your internet game.
Tweet-fiend, YouTuber and all around internet pest, Elijah Daniel is that guy who nearly got arrested for throwing a giant dildo at Donald Trump, that guy who got a tattoo of Trump sucking a big ol’ D on his calf, the guy who became a best-seller of Trump erotic fan-fiction (are you sensing a theme here?) and most recently that guy who became the literal Mayor of Hell, before being impeached for banning heteros.
Elijah Daniel? Yeh he DID that.
Elijah’s next foray into being a delightful piece of shit who I adore, is, of course, to re-write the bible and simply just make it heaps, heaps gayer. I’m talking gay as fuck, babes. Gayer than an Elton John themed Mardi Gras float crashing into Arq nightclub whilst a foam party is on. GAY. AS. SIN.
Starting off as an experiment on Twitter, the reinterpreGAYtion of a third of the world’s defining piece of literature, Elijah quickly identified the important character changes required to truly homo up the Lord’s Word:
im going to rewrite the entire bible but change it to be gayer just to piss straights off
— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 15, 2017
well sunday is the lords day so i guess i’ll have this done by then. 3 days. “the holy bible… but gayer”
— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 15, 2017
off to a great start pic.twitter.com/yTWT9H5yI4
— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 15, 2017
LMFAO pic.twitter.com/SPAoDaJjmZ
— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 15, 2017
making god rihanna and noah carly rae jepsen really makes the bible so much better pic.twitter.com/oJAjyzhdtz
— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 15, 2017
I don’t care what your religious disposition, I’m fairly certain we can ALL agree that making God Rihanna and Noah Carly Rae Jepsen is simply the way it was truly meant to be.
No doubt inspired by the power of The Daddy, The Twink and the Glory Hole-y Ghost, Elijah punched on and found himself finishing up ‘The Bible… But Gayer‘ in record time:
i changed all the weapons in the gay bible to dildos and the garden of eden is now West Hollywood
— elijah daniel (@elijahdaniel) September 16, 2017
Once completed however, Elijah ran into a bit of an issue in disseminating his magnum anus opus, finding his e-book banned from Amazon’s online store.
https://twitter.com/elijahdaniel/status/909593815236747264
Thankfully this generation’s greatest piece of literature is now available from his own site thebiblebutgayer.com for a tidy $3.
Thank the Rihanna in Heaven for you Elijah Daniel. Never stop preaching the good (gay af) word.
