Janek Gazecki – the dude behind the proposed Amalfi Beach Club on Bondi Beach – on Tuesday submitted a development application to get his controversial project up and running and folks, it’s a lot.

In the DA, Gazecki made his pitch about serving booze responsibly on the sand. Apparently, he reckons anti-social behaviour “was largely associated with the international backpacker demographic” and not the target clientele of his “premium family friendly restaurant environment.”

Because rich people don’t get messy when they’re on the piss. Sure, Jan(ek).

The founder also claimed that, because of his history of supposedly making polo more accessible to us commoners, the “allegations of elitism levelled against [our] project were not only completely offensive, unfounded and based in pure conjecture, but were also profoundly ironic.”

The DA is a whopping 188 pages in total, which seems conveniently painful for Bondi locals to flip through if they have any concerns about this monstrosity popping up in their neighbourhood.

That’s why we’ve plucked out some of the highlights for your convenience.

The DA has a whole section about “multiculturalism”, as if this fine example of traditional Italian culture would somehow be enriching Sydney’s diverse communities.

“Temporarily celebrating a vibrant aspect of European culture, namely a Mediterranean themed pop-up beach club, is therefore quite appropriate for Bondi Beach,” it reads.

In a nearby section of the document, the phrase “Indigenous culture” (written with a lower case I) is also namedropped, without any actual proposal aside from some vague little statement about having a Welcome to Country. There’s no mention of paying an Elder to actually do the Welcome to Country, however.

Amalfi Beach Club
The Amalfi Beach Club would take up roughly 1.3% of the beach. (Supplied)

The DA also mentions that food would be prepared off-site, “with preparation such as cooking, frying, heating, plating, garnishing and the like occurring onsite.”

While this doesn’t really matter for, say, oysters, this paragraph also better not be code for slinging reheated chicken parmies, or something.

Oh, and there’s also a random tidbit about potentially renaming the venue as the “Cablegram Beach Club” to make it more Bondi-centric.

The cablegram, in case you didn’t know, refers to the 1876 submarine cable that was uncovered under the site which connected Australia to the rest of the world.

On Facebook, the Amalfi Beach Club said “we are pleased to announce the DA has been submitted to the Honourable [NSW Planning] Minister [Rob] Stokes for consent, so that it can be democratically assessed by Waverley Council.”

The thing is, Stokes has already pledged to veto the proposed venue as far back as November last year on the basis that Bondi Beach is Crown Land.

Amalfi Beach Club
Mamma – and I cannot stress this enough– mia! (Supplied)

“Flogging off a bit of Bondi for the so-called beautiful people is one of the ugliest things that could be proposed,” Stokes told The Sun-Herald at the time.

“Our public spaces and beautiful beaches are to be enjoyed by all – not cordoned off like in the south of France or the United States for only those who can afford it.”

With daybeds and cabanas still set to require a minimum deposit of $80, it’s unlikely this fleshed-out proposal will change Stokes’ mind any time soon.

Image: Facebook / Amalfi Beach Club