The AFL season kicked off tonight in the first ever game to be played in front of an empty crowd as the coronavirus pandemic forced a ban on events over 500 people.

Richmond’s beloved Tigers kicked off the season again the Carlton Blues in a game that looked like a pre-season training. Look at this. Truly wild scenes at the MCG.

The only people in the audience? A few cops and security guards. You know, to stop the coronavirus.

For real though, why are these people here?

Some fans enjoyed the silence, allowing them to hear the players and umpires talking, instead of some dickhead with a can of VB in his hand umpiring from the grandstand.

But that sentiment wasn’t shared by everyone, with many fans missing the energy and excitement that a crowd brings.

Naturally, fans online were quick to come up with ideas on how to bring back the footy spirit. As a regular at my hometown local footy, I am a firm believer that there is simply no reason to attend a game if you can’t beep your horn when somebody kicks a goal.

Another truly *chefs kiss* idea is an AFL version of Gogglebox, so we can witness the celebration of every goal from the comfort of our living rooms.

The whole game seems like a bad idea for social distancing measures. I’m not certain whether the players were tested or not, but I can confirm at least one player licked his own hands, which seems like a surefire way to spread something.

Is AFL not real life? Who knows anymore.

I simply have no words. Sit down, buckle up and get ready for the wildest AFL season we’ve ever experienced.

Image: AAP Images / Michael Dodge