Humble Grammy-winner, lifelong Beyonce fan and bona fide celestial body Adele is on a collision course with Brisbane for the first time, and the people in charge of infrastructure are freaking out.
Brisbane’s deputy Mayor and transport committee chairman Adrian Schrinner is clearly feeling the impending pinch, saying that Adele’s two concerts at sports stadium the Gabba on March 4 and 5 are going to be so big as to have “never been seen before” in Brisbane.
There’s going to be so many people trying to get to the Gabba, in fact, that Schrinner is telling people to leave three hours early in order to make it on time.
The bus system is going to be wildly overloaded with people either brimming with emotions ready to pour out alongside 59,999 other tearful disciples, or exhausted and tetchy after weeping themselves into dehydration. The footpaths themselves will be awash with dazed, emotionally wrung-out punters who are just as likely to fall into a pile of wobbly lower lips as to make it home on foot.
On top of this, Brisbane Transport is saying that it will have to rely on bus drivers volunteering to take on extra shifts to ship the watery masses out of Woolloongabba.
Brisbane, I know we all love Adele, but I have to say it: what were you thinking?!
If you’re lucky enough to have got your mitts on one of the coveted tickets, my advice is to find an alternate route in and out of the Gabba – Floo powder, maybe, or that giant fan from the Simpsons. Or, if you train hard enough, maybe you’ll be able to concentrate all of the emotional energy that’s released from your body upon hearing the final strains of ‘Someone Like You’ into a teleportational charge that sees you home, safe and sound, sobbing into your pillow and trying to text your ex through your tears (don’t, hun. Don’t.).
Source: Courier Mail.