Back in February you might have caught what is, quite easily, one of the all-time greatest segments of A Current Affair, in which a group of hapless vigilantes in outer Melbourne vowed to protect their neighbourhood from crime associated with encroaching urban sprawl via abject murders. That group included one bloke by the name of James Read, who exhibited a proficiency with nunchucks not seen since that one backflipping YouTube video from back in the days before it was taken over by Nazis.
Read, in the segment, remarked that he “wanted to get a job originally in the movie industry and stuff” and so he “always practiced stuff like that.”
To jog your memory, here’s the entire story in all its spectacular glory.
In case you somehow missed it, here’s the key sequence in GIF form.
Fearsome. Truly mighty stuff.
As it turns out, the very next day after the segment went to air, police went knocking on Read’s door and found him in possession of five sets of nunchucks which are, we cannot stress this enough, not legal.
Fast forward to yesterday and Read appeared in court, entering a guilty plea to a charge of possessing illegal weapons.
During his short appearance in court, Read claimed that the weapons were training aids which were meant for his adult son, and that he was using them because he was frustrated by his perceived lack of police intervention regarding crime in the Cranbourne East area.
Magistrate Gerard Lethbridge saw it differently, however, and noted that if he’d used them in the street he’d be facing a jail term. After which he dropped this absolute zinger.
You can’t have illegal weapons for protection. You should get an alarm, or a dog, or something like that.
Incredible. Imagine getting absolutely roasted by a judge because you went on TV and swung some martial arts weapons belonging to your gargantuan son.
Read, who has no prior convictions and was noted to be of good character, was placed on a 12-month good behaviour bond and had no conviction recorded.
The nunchucks were ordered to be destroyed.