Oh bloody hell.

ICYMI, a new book by The Australian‘s political commentator Niki Savva called ‘The Road to Ruin‘ outlined some pretty nauseating stuff between former Prime Minister Tony Abbott and his controversial chief of staff Peta Credlin, arguing that the mistrust of Credlin’s influence over Abbott stemmed from rumours the pair were conducting some kind of torrid affair. 

(If you can stomach it, read about the spanking incident here.)


Credlin has already denied the affair – well, she called it “scurrilous” gossip over the weekend – and now Abbott has responded to the rumours via an official press release in the most Tony Abbott way possible.

Y’all ready for this? 


When forced to respond to rumours he cheated on his wife and banged his chief of staff while in power, he says… he stopped the boats.

Abbott Responds To Credlin Affair Rumours With “The Boats Were Stopped”

Specifically, he stopped the boats, repealed the carbon and mining taxes, and sorted out a few other bits and bobs in his turbulent two years in power, which he details in a press release titled ‘Savva Book‘.

As for the affair? He is “not in the business of responding to scurrilous gossip and smear”, which essentially makes this an incorrectly titled release, and in my opinion a ‘I Did A Good Fucking Job, You Jerks, Leave Me Alone‘ would’ve been a better one.


Here is the actual full thing:

“The best response to this book is the objective record of the Abbott government.

“After fighting Labor to a draw in 2010 and winning a strong majority in 2013, the Abbott government substantially delivered on its commitments.

“The boats were stopped. The carbon tax and the mining tax were repealed. Three free trade agreements that had languished for years were finalised. Infrastructure got underway, including the western Sydney airport that had been talked about for 50 years. Our country was kept safe. And a strong start was made to the vital task of budget repair.

“A dysfunctional opposition couldn’t win an election and a dysfunctional government couldn’t have got so much down in just two years.

“That said, I’m not in the business of raking over old coals nor am I in the business of responding to scurrilous gossip and smear. Apart from being a good local MP, my focus is on the election of the Turnbull government because Australia needs prudent, frugal, competent government – not an unreconstructed Labor Party with its five new taxes.”

Abbott Responds To Credlin Affair Rumours With “The Boats Were Stopped”

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Photo: ABC.