That’s a real headline. We cannot stress it enough. It’s accurate. It’s a thing that actually happened in 2016.
A 21-year-old Sydney male is recovering in hospital today after copping a redback spider bite DIRECTLY ON HIS DICK.
The incident occurred at around 8:45am this morning at a property on Civic Avenue in Kogarah, whilst the man was sitting on a portaloo.
Paramedics were called to the scene, but NSW Ambulance confirmed that the man was able to transport himself to hospital, where treatment was administered.
Anti-venom for redback bites has existed for some 50-odd years, but a bite will still cause the sufferer a fair amount of discomfort, as Adelaide Hospital‘s leading redback expert Professor Julian White explains:
“A bite from a redback is certainly going to make the patient very miserable, but it’s very uncommon to die as we’ve had an anti-venom for more than 50 years.”“But you’d experience pain — pain as the venom stimulates the nerves around the bite — along with swelling and increased blood pressure… Certainly, that would make you very miserable.”
Miserable.
On the dick.
Dick miserable.
The insect typically lives close to human dwellings and feed off smaller insects and other spiders, but bites of this… ahem… variety are very rare in this day and age. Modern plumbing has lead to a significant drop in the amount of outhouse usage, with the stuffy shed-like outdoor shitboxes being more or less Club Med for the eight-legged get fucked’s.
But back in the day? HOOO BOY.
“Going back 80 years or so when people were still using outhouse toilets it was extremely common, something like up to 80 per cent of cases of spider bites were bites on the male genitalia.”
NO PLEASE.
Source: The Daily Telegraph.
Photo: Ian Waldie/Getty.
