We’ve been chucking crap into the ocean since we invented the concept of throwing shit away – so much of it, in fact, that we’ve created several actual trash islands floating about in the currents, probably supporting pockets of hideous life that was never meant to be. So can any of us feign surprise that mighty Neptune has finally begun flinging crap back at us?
First it was the bubble-wrap of pain, i.e. the jellyfish bloom that washed onto Brisbane’s Deception Bay on the weekend. Now, it’s a high tide of eyewear startling Burleigh Heads residents.
Hundreds of pairs of sunglasses and swimming goggles were strewn on Burleigh Beach this morning. Locals gathered up the peculiar bounty – resident Judy Cumming reckons there were about 150 pairs of sunnies and 100 goggles – and handed them out to passers by.
After re-enacting this exact scene, one can only assume.
Experts are, for once, not pretending like this is just the ocean going about its business. In fact, Darrell Strauss from the Griffith University Centre for Coastal Management admitted to the ABC that:
“It’s amazing actually.“
(FINALLY, me and the experts see eye to eye on something.)
Dr Strauss thinks that the sudden influx of head accessories might be caused by the same factors responsible for the Jelly Carpet of Terror, but I think he’s overlooking the simplest and most obvious explanation: the sea has been hoarding our lost shades for too long. Now she’s KonMari-ing the hell out of herself, and this time, we get to be the bin.
Image: Instagram / @tappateece