A Bit Before Christmas (A Yuletide Poem Dedicated To Prime Grinchister Tony Abbott)
‘Twas a bit before Christmas, when all through the Lower House
Politicians were stirring, with news that had just come out.
Tony Abbott was threatening, an extension was nigh,
And the MP’s Christmas holidays might all go bye-bye.
“Carbon Tax, Mining Tax, Protection Visas too!
Australians! I want to raise the Debt Ceiling for you!
And if the Opposition won’t come around,
We’ll stay here through Christmas, till a solution is found!”
“So Albo! And Turnbull! Adam Bandt and Chris Pyne!
And Hockey! And Joyce! You too, you’re all mine!
I’ll bring you all back for an extra week of sitting
From December 16, and don’t think I’m kidding!”
“And I’ll keep you here sitting, under the eyes of the nation
Until the Senate approves my legislation.
Australians don’t want us stopping and smelling the roses,
But all my policies are what Labour opposes!”
Libs MPs were addressed in the Party Room,
Visions of their Christmas holidays being cancelled started to loom.
But this would affect both Labor and Coalition,
And the Greens, and Nationals, even Clive Palmer had to listen.
Tony Burke said “we’ve not been consulted!”
It’s hard to tell with that stare, but Julie Bishop might have been insulted.
Adam Bandt called it all pre-Christmas chest beating –
“The Parliament has a calendar, we know when we’re sitting.”
In the end, Abbott’s threats, they seem not to matter
To Tanya Plibersek, or Wyatt Roy, or even Bob Katter.
The Senate can leave whenever they’re willing and able.
They set their own schedule, regardless of Abbott’s timetable.
So come Christmas Eve, they’re unlikely to sit.
Whether or not the new legislation’s a hit
The MP’s will all take their holidays on the 12th of December
Tony Abbott will watch them leave, member by member.
He’ll head to his car, to his team give a whistle,
Before they all fly like the down of a thistle.
They’ll hear him exclaim, as he drives out out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, but we’ve not finished this fight!!”
Via ABC News
