Ladies, gentlemen and others, allow me to introduce you to your newest Strayan hero, the 78-year-old legend who belted a couple of home invaders with a big F-off wooden curtain rod. Let’s give it up for Geoffrey, fam!
Your new grandpa Geoffrey, a Vietnam vet nonetheless, found himself in quite the situation on Monday night when his Esperance, WA home was invaded by two teens, allegedly to rob him.
But this is motherfuckin’ Geoffrey we’re talking about (much in the vein of similar heroes Cher and Gandhi, Geoffrey wishes only to be know by his first name), and he wasn’t having ANY of this shit.
Grabbing his “anti-burglar device” or what us non-apex warriors might call a “wooden curtain rod”, Geoffrey confronted the pair and unleashed hell. In his own words to ABC news
“What they didn’t know was that I was an ex-soldier and I’d been taught some really dirty, nasty means of defending myself, so I put some of those into use. I got one bloke across the arm and I got the other fella across the ribs… They came looking for trouble, they found it.”
HOLY SHIT! Geoffrey you absolute madman!
After one of the teenaged invaders retaliated with a dastardly low-blow to one of Geoffrey’s knees, causing a momentay lapse in his honed focus and martial arts capabilities, the culprits escaped the house, the tattered remains of their dignity ebbing out into the street.
WA police are still on the look out for the two, described as “dark-skinned males in their mid to late teens”, and have also discouraged the public from taking actions into their own hands.
Geoffrey, however, get’s one heck of a salute from us. We’re proud of you, you curtain-rod-twirling, snappily dressed septuagenarian.
Photo: Christien de Garis / ABC.