Whaaaatup party people, ’tis the bloody season amirite? Eggnog is flowing, the shitty sharehouse Chrissy tree is barely standing, and the light at the tunnel of this cursed year is fast approaching. Life is truly wonderful; all is well. Well, almost.
You, being the unorganised little grinch you are, have once again left it pretty late with your Xmas pressies. And the worst part? Your secret Santa is Tom, a notoriously hard to please twat, but you’re determined to change your ways. You don’t have a great gift-giving track record — that harmonica you got your sister has been collecting dust since she opened it. You gotta step up your game.
What do we know about Tom? Well, he’s a gamer. Games? He loves ’em. What do you know about games? Zilch. This is where I, your benevolent Christmas gift-giving spirit guide, come in. Stick with me, and your record of terrible gift-giving ends now. Let’s dive the hell in.
EB Gift Card ($5 – $100)
Let’s start with something simple, something that never fails — the humble, yet powerful gift card. Grabbing an EB Games specific card shows that you know your special someone is a gamer, and you respect that. You also respect their free will and freedom of choice — who are you to impose your choices on them? The card states: I believe in you as an independent being with impeccable taste — taste far better than mine. The card says: run off my love, frolic into the promised land and pick yourself out something nice — on me.
Switch + 2 Games Bundle ($459)
Some gamers are team Playstation, while others would die for Xbox. Some claim PC master race. But what unites them all? A soft spot for Nintendo. You simply cannot go wrong with a Nintendo console, and that has been true for decades. A surprise Switch, a three-month Nintendo membership, and two games is sure to please not just any gamer, but any human being in general with half a soul.
Pokeball Backpack ($49)
Pokémon has undeniable pedigree — there’s a reason it’s been going strong for almost three decades. Plus, you can never have too many backpacks. This one works well for the gamer of basically all ages. Hell, I might order one for myself.
Astro A10 Headset ($99.95 $77)
Much like backpacks, I’m not sure there’s a gamer alive that would say “no thanks” to an extra headset. Especially one as comfy as the A10. You can grab one for Playstation or Xbox, on sale, right bloody now.
Logitech G502 LIGHTSPEED Wireless Gaming Mouse ($269.95 $198)
No one does mice like Logitech, and the G502 LIGHTSPEED is one of their best. When it comes to performance, every millisecond counts, so any gamer worth their salt will appreciate this Christmas bargain.
Ugly Pokémon sweater pattern short sleeve shirt ($49)
It just doesn’t feel like Christmas without an ugly sweater. Problem is, us living in this lovely upside down island nation are stuck with enduring stinking hot Christmases, unlike the snowy white Christmases that so bombard us in basically every form of pop culture. Lucky for you (and me cos I’m definitely copping one) you can pick up an ugly sweater-themed Pokémon shirt. Keeping cool and keeping stylish. Love that.
Super Mario Lego set ($89)
If anyone in your life doesn’t appreciate Mario and Lego, then you best be casting those freaks out asap. You don’t need that negative energy in your life. So, if your giftee has any sort of cultural integrity to them, they will absolutely adore this set. I mean, it’s Mario and Lego — you simply can’t go wrong.
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