University is a unique experience – a three-five year stint of your life that’ll hold more memories, tears and hard work than your first long-term relationship. The chunk of your educational life, however, would be nothing without the people who chew up the learnings alongside you.
From the sleepyhead who drifts off every five minutes to the walking encyclopaedia and mysterious being known only by their Blackboard/Moodle username, uni really is a place full of vibrant personalities.
1. Laurie, 26, changes courses like underwear
Laurie’s a free bird, you guys, and don’t you dare try and clip his wings. He says he’s just interested in errythang, as proven by the units of Arts, Engineering, Teaching + Nursing courses he’s undertaken over the past five years. He just loves the uni lifestyle, you guys, and hasn’t committed to a specific career path just yet. Laurie will probably wind up a uni tutor so he never has to actually leave. That, or he’ll study a unit which makes him realise that earning cash in an industry he likes is far better than living off Mi Goreng for the rest of his natural-born life.
2. Hayley, 19, knows more than you
Hayley may as well wedge a gym ball under her armpit the thing’s raised that much. However, it’s generally to ask a question rather than answer one, which is really a thinly disguised attempt to show the lecturer or tutor that she’s already three weeks ahead in the unit content. The classroom is her stage and she’s a natural-born performer. People roll their eyes at Hayley but look, she’s someone you want in your group assignments, that’s for sure. Her anal personality + tendency to check / double check criteria with the course coordinator will see you rolling in those sweet, sweet grades. Much love to you, Hay Hay.
3. Louise, 20, takes on too many extra curriculars to function
Louise heads up a student mag in her spare time because she’s like, really passionate about getting her name on as many bylines as possible for her portfolio to the real issues of student life. She’s also got three start-ups on the go with several first-year ‘interns’ (read: slaves) pumping out social media content, runs the student council and is ~super into~ that fitness powder/juice/potion that rhymes with misagenix and ‘will change your lyf’. Like many semi-charismatic cult leaders, Louise will definitely go on to run a successful business empire and possibly make you Google misagenix. She’s weirdly influential like that.
4. Jake, 18, keyboard ninja
JakeW_99 may as well be a robot, because nobody’s ever actually seen him in the flesh. He saves all his good wit and humour not for Twitter but for the student forums. He comments constantly and relentlessly and doesn’t need other people to join in on the fun because screw it, he’ll just have a good ol’ conversation with himself. Little does the rest of the student body know that Jake is studying externally (read: online) and they’ll probs never get to come face to face with the keyboard ninja himself.
5. Joe, 45, knows more about life than you / is your spirit animal
Joe sacrificed his higher-education experience to support the kids, before having a ‘life changing moment’ at a mindfulness retreat, going vegan and deciding to pursue his intellectual pursuits and live his ‘truth’. He’s the progressive, liberal spirit in the class and likes to play devil’s advocate just to force people to ‘challenge the norm’. He has a mysterious tattoo of Tweety Bird on his back (which you’ll never know the backstory of) and he really doesn’t give a flying fudge what you think. You may end up in the student bar with Joe at 2pm on a Tuesday discussing the meaning of life, or what Selena Ha did on the Weeknd over a schooner.
6. Robbo, destined to be your m8 for life
Robbo is the best mate you never knew you needed. He’s got the same goals and direction as you, hangs out in the same crowds and makes you wonder what you were doing with any friends who came before him. He rearranges his classes to ensure he can blossom the bromance and nick off to the pub in between classes, always finds a way to be part of your group assignments and brings you a six-pack of Red Bull before cramming for an exam. You love him and he loves you and it’s bloody beautiful.
Uni’s just full of characters, isn’t it? No matter how ridiculously different the characters y’all encounter there are, or how their experiences differ, all of ’em are there for one common goal. And that’s kinda neat when you think about it.
University is for everyone – studious or lit, young or old, online or on campus. CQUniversity gets that and they get you, providing the support / access / A+ education you need to be exactly what it is you want to be. Get around CQUni’s courses HERE.
