Being a great conversationalist takes time and practice.
If only we were in a movie and our words were written by some steller screenwriter, that way we’d always sound effortlessly cool, like James Bond or Tony Stark. It seems those characters have the gift of the gab and can talk themselves out of just about any situation, something only very few of us can do.
Instead, we’re mostly these beautiful little wallflowers who utter straight-up garbage from time to time, because frankly, we don’t know what else to say.
Whether we’re suffering from a severe brain snap or we’re extremely hungry, craving a Snickers and unable to think clearly, we’re all guilty of saying the most foolish things followed by an orchestra of crickets.
More often than not, in those moments, we wished the earth would either erupt or swallow us whole. It’s times like that we realise less is more, and it’s worth sitting in silence.
But alas, here are some of the most awkward things we’ve said whenever we’re tongue-tied and spaced out.
“I’m just going to get another drink”
This phrase is both awkward and a saviour. Whether you’re stuck talking to your uncle at Christmas who loves a fedora; or a stranger has cornered you at a party, these words are muttered when you don’t know what else to say. The next time you’re in a social setting that feels like an escape room, get a drink to excuse yourself.
“Are we all good?”
This remark occurs after a fight, when you’re sitting in silence, waiting for the dusk to settle, but you can still cut the tension with a knife. What follows from this question is never usually good, as you’ll break into another squabble or be fed lies that sound something like this, “Of course we’re good,” only for you to be sleeping with one eye open for the next few days. Because frankly, if you have to ask, you were never really “all good”.
“I’m not fussed, you choose.”
No one ever is truly this impartial to anything. We always have a preference but mask this with an easy-going, laidback temperament. For some reason, being indecisive is as fashionable as the Y2K movement currently. However, always being indifferent is impossible, mainly because, deep down, you know you’d prefer Macca’s over sushi.
“No, you are!”
Along with ready-to-go meals and Russel Crowe singing, there’s nothing more unsatisfying on this planet than not thinking of a quick-witted comeback on the spot. A red flag for a poor debater is when they start repeating everything previously said, especially when it’s “No, you are”…wow, what a brutal retort. The sad part is, you always think of the perfect line two or three days later.
“So, how do you know the bride?”
Weddings are always the biggest cluster of randoms, with people from all walks of life showing up for one main event. While that sounds like fun, it can be overwhelming as the day is an emotional rollercoaster, from the best-man speeches to being seated next to a relative you’ve never even met before. Not to fret though, as striking up a conversation about meeting the bride and groom is a great icebreaker.
