Here’s Just How Far Melburnians Will Be Able To Piss Off To If The 5km Bubble Gets Extended To 20km

20km radius

Melbourne’s measly two coronavirus cases on Friday have sparked some pretty hefty speculation that Premier Dan Andrews might increase the 5km radius out to 20km as part of Sunday’s announcements.

We already know to expect “significant” changes to the lockdown laws as we know them right now, but Andrews has remained pretty tight-lipped about what exactly we can hope for.

But considering it’s a Friday afternoon, the sun is shining and I’m in the mood to be optimistic, I thought I’d take a bit of a gander at exactly what a 20km radius would mean for us Melbourne folk.

For starters, 20km feels like you’ve got the whole world at your fingertips after being confined to a measly 5km for the last few months. The world is my oyster, honestly.

Thanks to the legends at calcmaps.com (not spon), I have discovered that my own 20km radius will get me anywhere from Craigieburn to Camberwell. Obviously, this would be way more exciting if literally anything was open, or we could see mates, but just think of the possibilities here.

I absolutely can’t afford a house in Briiiiiighton, but now I could walk all of Karen’s favourite streets. Fuck, I could even enjoy the painfully mediocre St Kilda Beach if I wanted to.

According to my ~very~ scientific research (aka dragging the 20km radius circle around willy nilly), the rumoured extension would be the best for those living in Melbourne’s inner north (Maribyrnong, Brunswick, Fitzroy areas). But provided you live south of Craigieburn, a 20km radius *should* give you access to the beach, which could be a real game-changer.

Honestly, the real drawcard here is the possibility of being able to enjoy a socially-distanced park beer with your mates who maybe don’t live a stone’s throw away from you. Sure, it’s not the same as a party or a trip to the pub, but even being able to yell at your mates from a safe 1.5m distance feels like a real treat at the moment.

Obviously, it’s all just speculation at this point, but it’s enough to get me excited about the possibility of leaving my own suburb.

Dan Andrews could announce anything on Sunday (*prays for the pub*), but if we’re lucky enough to get that 20km radius, or even just 10km, it would truly be a dream for all Melburnians.

In the mean time, get outside and sink a beer in your backyard. You deserve it for surviving another week of this absolute madness.

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