Mariah’s Doing Another Live NYE Show And What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Mariah Carey

Look, everyone fucks up once in a while, even celebrities the likes of Mariah Carey. But shit, her New Year’s Eve performance in 2016 was a total disaster of career-ruining proportions. Then again, we’re talking about Mariah Carey here. She’s an icon. She’s a diva. She’s a queen. She’s fucking immortal. And ain’t no half-assed performance gonna change that.

Please do yourself a favour and refresh your memory by rewatching what went down last year during Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve at Times Square:

The internet, of course, couldn’t even.

Then, to add fuel to the fire, Carey attacked Dick Clark Productions directly for the drama, telling Entertainment Weekly:

All I can say is Dick Clark was an incredible person and I was lucky enough to work with him when I first started in the music business. I’m of the opinion that Dick Clark would not have let an artist go through that and he would have been as mortified as I was in real time.

After such a shitstorm, you would imagine all involved parties are probably thinking, “Hey, let’s never fucking do that again.” But no, they’re quite literally doing the exact same thing this New Year’s Eve.

“We can all agree that last year didn’t go exactly as planned,” said Carey and Dick Clark Productions in a joint comment.

“We are thrilled to move forward together to provide America with an incredible night of music and celebration on ‘Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest 2018.’ See you in Times Square!”

Carey further added to the conversation with this wordy, eloquent and too-Mariah-to-function Tweet:

Nobody wants to see anyone fail. Sure, it might be funny to watch something fall apart in front of your very eyes, but deep down inside you’re still wanting to see them bounce back fully. But if someone’s placing themselves in the exact same position in which they’d previously failed, then honey, we’re going to take the piss out of you.

Get ’em, Mariah. If you don’t, the internet’s ready and waiting.