If there’s a young person affliction more annoying and damning than FOMO it’s FONKT (Fear of Not Knowing Things, which we just made up) because heaven forbid you should have some blind spots in your pop culture knowledge and do other things in life besides trawl obscure Soundcloud accounts all day. And, sure, even though that in no way diminishes your value as a human being and we should always be open to discovering new things, you always feel compelled to nod your head in agreement and say something vague but affirmative about that thing you’ve never heard of before your friend just mentioned because then they won’t think less of you. It’s alright guys, we can’t know everything.
It’s a fear Jimmy Kimmel exploits to perfection in this hemp and bullshit scented edition of Lie Witness News which features some short short sporting Coachella attendees discussing bands that – gotcha – don’t actually exist.
Dr. Shlomo & The G.I. Clinic? Obesity Epidemic? I fucking love those guys.
