Where do we begin with this one? It’s simply fun to compare random shit to other random but completely unrelated shit. There’s no better example than these TikToks telling us which pop girlies are what global pandemics.
“This was made with no hate for any of these great gals – love ’em all,” TikTok user @itsadamokay said in the intro.
And to cut to the chase, the pandemic you’re all probably asking about – COVID-19 – goes to none other than Ariana Grande.
“She’s the current It Girl™, she’s the chart-topper, and she is definitely dangerous. Please wear a mask,” he said.
@itsadamokayLove all of these gals! ##arianagrande ##ladygaga ##taylorswift ##rihanna ##beyoncé ##halsey♬ original sound – itsadamokay
The list is really an exercise in simultaneous reverence and shade for these artists who we so dearly (and sometimes viciously) stan.
“Taylor Swift is the common cold because she is not going anywhere and, honestly, is anyone mad at it?” @itsadamokay said.
Meanwhile: “Rihanna is the Plague of Athens because neither of them have hit the chart since like 400 B.C.”
But unlike the Plague of Athens, it would be lovely if Rihanna did decide to bless us with another album. I digress.
In a second TikTok, @itsadamokay doubled down on even more pop queens.
“Once again, no hate, stream all their music, they’re all amazing,” he added.
@itsadamokayUpon your request ???? ##katyperry ##britneyspears ##lorde ##camilacabello ##normani ##demilovato♬ original sound – itsadamokay
This time we have Katy Perry as swine flu (“because she peaked in 2010 but she’s never really over“), Lorde is leprosery (“her music causes me numbness toward all the pain and feelings of reality”) and Normani, who isn’t a pandemic because “her stupid record label has not supported her worldwide takeover yet”.
In among these icons in both TikToks are also Beyoncé, Britney Spears and Lady Gaga and more. You’ll have to watch to see what pandemics they are.
Now let us end on Poot’s sister Demi Lovato, who despite being responsible for a timeless summer banger that you really should be blasting now that it’s December, still has that weird voice shrill.
“Girl, I hear that strained-ass voice and my throat hurts for you.”
And that’s on tuberculosis.