You know when Sigur Rós turn up at your wedding to serve a death-warmed-up rendition of ‘The Rains of Castamere’ as the main musical number, then shit’s about to go down. If we learned anything from last season’s narrative reset switch, the Red Wedding, it’s that there are consequences for every action, nobody is safe, and nuptials in Westeros are straight up fucked. It goes without saying, but from here on in: SPOILER ALERT.
George R.R. Martin and D.B. Weiss and David Benioff reiterated that complex thesis last night in the fourth season’s second episode, ‘The Lion and The Rose’, wherein the Purple Wedding served up tween regicide of heretofore unprecedented significance and Joffrey Baratheon was offed in spectacular fashion at the long-awaited wedding of Houses Baratheon and Tyrell.
Presented without further commentary, here are thirty songs to help you deal with the deserved – albeit pretty brutal considering he was still a child of thirteen – poisoning of television’s most vile, loathed character, King Joffrey.
Bonus song: Just remember, pie can be poison.
Photo: Game of Thrones on Facebook
