The X-Factor Live Blog: Results Show 7

So this is what it’s like to go on a blind date. Thanks to a particularly vicious strain of horse-flu that has ripped through the Pedestrian offices (get well soon guys, stay away from the light!), it’s been left to the only guy in the office who hasn’t watched the damn show to do the X-Factor live blog! I know the show is music based, someone is going to get kicked off tonight, and they are pretty lax when it comes to abiding to the 8:30 finish time. Fingers crossed!

7:30 – This has just been an eye opener all round. So Home And Away is still on TV! And that guy who got his dick out at the Aria’s is in it. Glad that’s working out for him.

7:35Luke Jacobz added a Z to the end of his name to make it more screen-worthy. Surely someone must have covered that already. Sorry.

7:38Silver Sneakers performing with the the talent. Great knob twiddling guys. Thanks for ruining the best TV show them of all time. Ok. My bad but NoisworksTouch sounds a lot like the Baywatch theme tune.

7:45 – It looks like I missed a lot last night. One guy bled his song from the heart! Another literally bled care of a miss-timed knee slide!

7:56 – So that was UK X-Factor victors Little Mix! X-Factor performance one night and a Sunrise performance the next day. Living the high life. I’m sure Kochie will LOVE you!

8:06 – We are past half-way and things are starting to happen. The nervous contestants have been walked out. It’s time for the results… I’m a little bit nervous. (How did that happen?)

8:08 – Jason the bung legged country boy is through. And so is Collective which is odd because it seemed like the collective opinion that they sucked last night.

8:11 – Guy Sebastian is spewing that that the bottom two are from his stable and gets his claws out and delivers a veiled spray to the fellow judges and the voters. Go for the eyes, Guy!

8:16 – And we are back with Ellie Goulding. She’s got a heap of buzz and sold a 5 million albums and I’d been confusing her with Elly Jackson from La Roux the whole time. You might have picked up on theme; I get things like that confused alllllllll the time.

8:20 – Wow. These guys know how to draw out a show. I’ll give X-Factor credit for that.

8:21 – Guy is so devoed he can’t even read the teleprompter.

8:28 – Was Guy tearing up during Samantha Jade’s performance? I gotta agree, she was pretty good.

8:31 – Nathaniel just gave a whole lot of Sexual Healing to some pretty young looking girls in the front row.

8:36 – I’m not sure how Luke Jacobz takes this so seriously? Nat Bassingthwaighte is mad she has to send someone home. Is that why barely any of the muscles in her face move when she talks.

8:38 – Mel-B isn’t holding back and now Guy has to eat one of his own! This is tenssssseeeeee!

8:40 – Guy pikes it and goes for deadlock. There’s an envelope… There’s a dramatic pause

9:00 8:41 A very long dramatic pause.

8:42 – Nathaniel is outta here! I got to admit, that dude he looked like he had the goods.

8:45 Well that was X-Factor. Thank you for sharing that experience with me. You can only watch X-Factor for the first time once. I’m not sure how a feel. A little embarrassed, a little drunk, a little dirty and in need of shower… Just like the first time I made lasagne and I’m hella good at that now so maybe I will tune in next week! Thanks guys. Goodnight!

Photo via