Judging from appearances – is there any other way to judge something? – the age-old maxim still holds true: when the majority of your attendees could write ‘YouTube Personality’ on their customs declaration form you know you’re not in for a time best described as ‘unfailingly chic’. There were, however, some fun getups and some even more fun Gretas. Let’s take a lewk, shall we?
Tyler, The Creator summed it up best on his Instagram when he wrote of M.I.A.: “I hope the lady I marry is as cool as M.I.A.” She wears a tangy tassel-fringed batwing rainbow jacket, tie-dye jeans, and sick mules. She accessorises with saucer-size shades and absolutely zero phucks.
Spring breaker forever Vanessa Hudgens looks famous and bitchy in this figure-skimming number, which I’m guessing is Dolce & Gabbana. Hudgens wards off the pious vibes usually associated with saintly tiled garb such as this with killer talons, jewel encrusted pumps and the long-hair-don’t-care grin of a gal you know would be a good time at the after party and the hotel lobby.
Indie cinema’s favourite socially-inept ingenue, the affable and effervescent Greta Gerwig, was enlisted by Spike Jonze to contribute a real time performance to Arcade Fire’s ‘Afterlife’ live music video – dancing, lip-syncing and punching her way through an alt musical theatre version of Narnia. It was joyous. Her fleur-de-lys body con is a pretty, bold choice. I also enjoy her gold-capped Damsels in Distress Mary-Janes, her hazelnut locks, anachronistic time piece and would like to lodge a formal application to be her best friend ASAP.
Donning her gangrenous grills as a corsage, Lady Gaga appears to be aping Michael Jackson – or Zombie John Lennon – in a leather shirt sans pants, round glasses, that mop of dark curls and an even darker Stetson. Her socks (from Camden markets) and demure kitten heels are a sweet addition to an atypically minimalist ensemble. Her Tim Burton teeth are dope; her pantlessness no longer a novelty.
Despite last week lambasting YouTube for neglecting to nominate the real artists – the directors – and calling the ceremony “THE MOST TEENY BOPPER POP SHIT… YOU ARE BUTT”, Tyler, The Creator, Taco and Earl Sweatshirt still put in a typically loose performance on the red carpet. Tyler wears a smile?
Though Ryan Lewis and Macklemore put in a polished and event-apropos red carpet performance with all-black tailoring and a black bomber jacket coat, they still look lily white from head to toe.
Frequent Eminem collaborator, Skylar Grey, wears the flayed skin of Eminem circa 8 Mile.
On his way home from Whole Foods, human teddy bear James Murphy and gal pal Christina Topsoe looks très casual and also rich as Goldmember’s balls. I bet she smells like vetiver handwash, rain water and Diptyque candles.
Dad, stop embarrassing me in front of my friends with your hip oversize manbag and cardigan.
All photos by Dimitrious Kambouris via Getty Images.