The Best / Most Disgraceful Shit We’ve Overheard You Say At Splendour ’17

The P.TV will be reporting from Splendour allllll weekend long. Follow us on Instagram [@pedestriantv] for all that sweet BTS content.

The time of music and mud is upon us, mates. When the population of Byron Bay (and nearby parklands) swells to 20 times its usual size, probably. (I’m not good at maths.) When the créme de la créme of Aussie and international acts descend upon one grassland spot to sing, strut and shred to some 30,000-odd punters.

Hell yeah, it’s Splendour in the Grass 2017


PEDESTRIAN.TV
is on the ground to bring you back chats with everyone playing, but while we’re there, we’ve got an ear to the ground on YOU lot.

Here’s all the cooked stuff we’ve overheard (so far).

[waiting in line for a drink]

“So much coverage of the shoes but no coverage of the ass.” 

[on the shuttle]
“I love this shuttle bus. I feel like I’m a cow.” 

Girls to guys in cow suits: “Aren’t you hot?” 

Cows: “What do you reckon?” 
[Ed’s note: we have no idea why cows are coming up so much, either.] 

Girl to friend: “Why call yourself Vance Joy when you look so fucking emo all the time?”

Friend: “I know right.” 

Friends talking about a mate coming out of the men’s toilets: “Did you cop a load of that NERD.” 


[Outside the VIP area.]

“Would you have a foursome with HAIM? I would.”

Girl walking out of the MixUp Tent: “Yuuuuuuckkkkkkk, I can taste that dude’s sweat.”

Dude to his friend: “I’m more cooked than a Sunday roast, just go to Lil Yachty without me.” 


Walking up the hill to the Amphitheatre: “What the fuck can someone drag me? This is fucking shit.” 

Two girls walking out of the bathrooms: “But I prefer circumcised to not circumcised.” 

Girl looking at a Dad with a beard full of glitter: “That is so fuckin’ PREMIUM.” 


[Outside Gold Bar.]

“You come to Splendour, don’t bring a fucking fidget spinner.” 

[Outside the Kanye tribute.]

“I’m so glad it’s a happy Kanye not a sad Kanye.”

[In the line for the bathroom.]

Girl: *pulling up her booty shorts* “they… won’t…. stay…. up.”

Friend (helpfully): “Can you tuck them in anywhere?”

[In the media area.]

“FUCK FUCK FUCK, there’s Lil Yachty. Wait, why is he holding a giant Kermit?”

Friends obviously arriving at a place where they agreed to meet: “Well surprise, surprise, they’re not fucking here.” 

[In line to get into side stage]

Girl to random: “Are you single?”
Girl’s boyfriend: “STOP CUCKING ME AT SPLENDOUR.”

Dude to friend trying to take shirt off: “Dude what the fuck it’s so cold.”

Friend: *takes off shirt anyway*

Girl: *walks into toilet cubicles*

Friend, walking out of toilet cubicles: “Someone literally gave birth to a taco in the portaloo. Don’t go in there.”


[At the campground.]

“Is that sink seriously clogged with toilet paper on day one?”

NSW bloke: “Fuck these Queenslanders have some munted heads.”

We have absolutely no comment on that last one.

Photo: Supplied.

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