Lovelorn spinster and adept Kennedy Clan infiltrator, Taylor Swift, touched down in Sydney yesterday after visiting Tokyo (where she no doubt engaged in some harmless karaoke and probably purchased lewd comics from a vending machine) ahead of her performance at this week’s ARIA Awards.
The arch-nemesis/BF4LYF of tweens the world over wasted little to no time bringing her brand of irritatingly flawless hair, peaches ‘n cream complexion and delightful decorum to brunch at Bills, before partaking in a spot of shopping in the CBD and Paddington. Swift bought another pair of Wayfarer sunglasses from the Sunglasses Hut store in Westfield before pretending like she wanted to shop at Zara while listening to her iPod through pink headphones because she’s just like you.
This morning Tay was tricked into appearing on The TODAY Show by guileful producers who used a bowl of candy to entice the country singer on stage where the camera did this weird jumpy fisheye thing during her performance, because it looked cool and youthful.
Beside revealing how The TODAY Show lures unsuspecting youths into their dressing rooms, Swifty also divulged some really vital insights concerning how “hot” she thinks her Australian stalkers are and how she has never eaten a lamington. Unfortunately, because she’s just the nicest, Taylor failed to disclose just how truly creepy her friend Richard Wilkins’ honorary red moustache looked and instead preferred to point out his ability to break down the syllables of a word.
Swift will perform at the ARIAs on Thursday. Stay tuned for more Swift Watch, maybe.
Main Image by: Christopher Polk via Getty, @jamesmcmango, @taylorswift13
