Taylor Swift Dropped ‘Gorgeous’ Today & Just Who The Fuck Is She Dissing?

Taylor Swift dropped the third single off her upcoming album, Reputation, today, and we’re fairly sure it’s about wanting to bang her current BF Joe Alwyn while still dating Tom Hiddleston.

‘Gorgeous‘ dropped today, and is a floaty kinda pop song that’s better than ‘LWYMMD‘ but is still kiiiiiinda meh. Have a listen:

But these LYRICS, y’all. Literally everyone is diving in to work out what they mean, so we’re going to, as well.

You should take it as a compliment
That I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk

Joe’s British. Mind you, so is Tom, and Calvin Harris is Scottish. Maybe Taylor exclusively dates people now whose accents she can make fun of.

And I’ve got a boyfriend, he’s older than us
He’s in the club doing I don’t know what

Alright, this is a diss, but who? Plenty were thinking Calvin, which would mean this song is about Tom. But that wouldn’t really make sense to release now, so maybe Tom Hiddleston is a secret club rat and we were fooled by his slightly nerdy charm all this time.

Initially, we thought the track was about wanting to bang Tom while still with Calvin (and honestly, same), but TayTay herself is seeding out hints that it’s about Joe. More on that in a tic.

And you should think about the consequence
Of you touching my hand in the darkened room

When Taylor started dating Tom about a nanosecond after splitting with Calvin, everyone quickly picked up that the pair had met a few months prior, at the Met Gala. They were filmed getting a touch flirty in the darkened space, so therefore this lyric *did* kinda tie in with our ‘wanting to bang Tom’ theory. Then again, maybe she and Joe had flirty encounters in dark rooms? Probably.

Ocean blue eyes looking in mine
I feel like I might sink and drown and die

Tom has blue eyes. Calvin has blue eyes. Joe has blue eyes. Taylor should write a song called ‘My Blue-Eyed Boys’.

That’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have
Guess I’ll just stumble on home to my cats

Taylor acquired her cats, Meredith Grey and Olivia Benson, in 2013, giving us a useful framework re: dates. Actually, this isn’t much of anything. It’s really an excuse to say that Taylor has great taste in cat names.

So about those Taylor hints: WELL. She recently held a Secret Session for a few of her most devoted fanbase at her home in London, where she played them the entire album and took pictures and stuff.

Attendees are claiming that she told them the track was absolutely about Joe, and they should correct anyone who says otherwise. (She also revealed that they’ve been dating for a YEAR. News of the relationship only broke in May, so honestly, well done Taylor.)

“Basically, Taylor made us all promise that if anyone made any accusations of who this song is about, we tell them it is 100% about her angel boyfriend of one year,” wrote Tumblr user away-from-the-crowds. “This isn’t a secret, she wanted us to tell people.”

Of course she did. Taylor is a master at media manipulation, and here we are, being manipulated.

Maybe it is all about Joe. On the plus side, if there are any digs about Calvin in here, then all we have to do is wait for the next time he’s drunk tweeting.