If you have Spotify (sorry Apple music users) you’ve probably looked at your 2020 Wrapped by now. You may have also have looked at your most listened to genres of the year and been confused as fuck. Yeah, Escape Room has nothing to do with the team building activity you were forced to do in 2016, it’s actually a genre of music (shocker, I know).

As someone whose favourite genre is apparently Australian garage punk, I can safely say that the way that they have categorised genres is extremely niche and incredibly chaotic. How am I supposed to tell someone my favourite genre of music is Australian garage punk without sounding like a total prick? I can’t. So thanks Spotify, now everyone thinks I’m a dickhead.

So how does the music streaming giant come up with these bizarre categories? Well, they’ve been calculated by a data alchemist called Glenn McDonald, who has created a massive map of genres by examining the data he comes across at Spotify. Because he’s such a king, all those genres can be found at his website called Every Noise At Once.

So here’s an explanation of what some of the most popular (and cooked) Spotify genres actually mean.

Post-teen pop

Basically, if you listen to Post-Teen pop you probably grew up watching the Disney Channel, and now have an inability to move passed your youth. The name itself is quite frankly an insult, it says ‘hey, you’re not a teenager anymore, but still act like one.’

Escape Room

This one has been doing the rounds on Twitter, because a lot of people have been told this is their most listened to genre.

If you listen to a lot of Princess Nokia or Shygirl then that’s probably why you got Escape Room. It’s like electronic/rap/hyperpop, but for sad people.

Adult Standards

For the love of god I really hope no one got this genre. If you listen to Paul Anka and Englebert Humperdinck, I am so sorry that life has been cruel to you. I’m pretty sure Adult Standards is just a nice way of saying Baby Boomer and you know what, I’m kind of into that.

Neo Mellow

Neo Mellow is basically just like John Mayer, I don’t know what else to tell you.

Permanent Wave

If you got Permanent Wave then you’re either Gen X, or you’re a massive softboi. You listen to artists like The Smashing Pumpkins, Iggy Pop and The Velvet Underground. It’s basically alt rock, but for people stuck in the 90s.

Middle Earth

If you got this category then you really need to put down the Lord of the Rings soundtrack. Seriously, this category is literally just music from Lord of the Rings.

Well, there you go.