I say this without any sense of hyperbole: I don’t think I’ve ever cared about any issue in this country more than I care about this one.
With the unfathomably awesome news earlier today that our very own sunburnt country Australia had been granted a wildcard entry into the 60th Anniversary of the parade of all things hilariously magnificent that is the Eurovision Song Contest, came the inevitable next question: Just who exactly could our representative be?
Jessica Mauboy, of course, did a perfectly fine job last year in a special interval performance – even if the iconography used was ever so slightly “giant kangaroo riding a BMX“-ish. But now’s the time to get serious about things.
And no Australian musical act, artist, or group – be it past, present, future, or inter-dimensional – is more serious than This Is Serious, Mum.
Fortunately, the pure, unbridled genius that is TISM has not been forgotten in the sands of time, and thus an absolute genius by the name of Andrew Wade has taken up arms for the cause of getting TISM to be our official representative at Eurovision 2015.
Almost as quick as the news spread, did a Change.org petition surface on the web that has amassed well over 2,000 signatures already and shows no signs of stopping anytime soon.
Imagine it. Amongst all the glitz, glamour, wonderful costumes, campy songs and general glorious splendour marches a troop of masked men wearing 15 foot high inflatable headpieces. With audiences already at fever pitch from your Dupstep Opera Vampires and your Moldovan thrusting sax players and such, on come a group of largely anonymous Australian piss-takers who rip through a rousing rendition of “(He’ll Never Be An) Ol’ Man River.” Hear that? That’s the sound of phones ringing OFF. THE. HOOK.
TISM, of course, were one of Australia’s premiere musical satirists with a career spanning over 20 years, reeling off such classic hits as “Greg! The Stop Sign!!” “Whatareya?” “Got A Root Out Of It,” “I Might Be A C**t, But I’m Not A F***ing C**t,” and “I Rooted a Girl, Who Rooted a Guy, Who Rooted a Girl, Who Rooted a Guy, Who Rooted a Girl, Who Rooted Shane Crawford.”
Dead members be damned, you know it’s the right thing to do, Australia. Send our boys over to Europe and let them smash everyone’s faces in. For the good of the nation.
Get heavily involved with the petition by slamming down your digital signature RIGHT HERE.
And in the meantime, relive this classic appearance on Hey! Hey! It’s Saturday! in which Daryl Sommers feels very uneasy about saying the word “palsy” on national TV.
Holy crap this needs to happen.
