Complete and utter transparency, I’ve tackled Splendour a few times now and almost always lose in some shape or form – whether it’s my wallet, my dignity or my voice.
While from the outside perspective I look like a hot mess, every year I gain just that little bit of extra wisdom. I don’t necessarily learn anything but I’m pretty sure I’ve developed a pretty good sense of what to do and what not to do to get through Splendour.
DO pass out early, you paid all that money so you’ll want to spend your time getting some decent shut-eye.
DO NOT let short people sit on your shoulders, it was their decision to be that small.
DO shout the lyrics over the top of the singer, your voice is definitely better than the professional.
DO NOT maintain your hygiene, if you smell rank then there’s less chance you’ll conceive a child.
DO spend hours in the porta-potties, you don’t have one at home so best make the most of it.
DO NOT keep tabs on your friends. If they get lost, they get lost.
DO crack it at your friends when they want to see a different band to you, they need to hear how irrational they’re being.
DO NOT go prepared, half the fun of Splendour is figuring out how to survive off five dollars and a tissue
DO film shaky concert vids on your tablet, you’re totally gonna watch it later and it’s like a free souvenir
If you’re one of those people who are so unorganised that you forgot actual tickets, you can enter Carlton Dry‘s comp (here) to score a double pass to Splendour as well as an UnderthinKIT, packed with all your festival essentials. Chuck the vid below a look to scope it out: