Yesterday the Sydney Morning Herald ran a story on the newly minted nuptials of Silverchair drummer Ben Gillies and his bride, “Croatian-born philanthropist” Jakica Ivancevic. Like many, theirs was a tale of serendipitous reconnections, synchronized dreaming and spontaneous flower arranging and it’s great that two people can connect on such a transcendent level in this day and age but when the writer dips an admittedly sentimental story in lolly water and sprinkles, the byproduct is straight up comedy. I mean, we’re all for public declarations of love and would never needlessly ridicule someone’s marriage but the saccharine sentiments and unintentionally hilarious quotes peppered throughout just can’t be ignored.
If you need to believe in love again or chuckle at the minimal self-awareness of others here are the top five lines from the piece (in ascending order of hilarity).
5) Within weeks of reconnecting, the two became inseparable. Ivancevic’s comforting demeanour allowed Gillies to let go of fear and friction and reveal some of his deepest emotions. Almost uncontrollably, he felt he was slowly giving himself up to her as their relationship became stronger by the day.
4) “When we first connected that night at a house party, I dreamt about him. So I messaged him and told him I’d dreamt about him. Then he wrote back and told me he’d dreamt about me – and we’d dreamt exactly the same dream,” Ivancevic says, explaining that dreams are a creation of the heart’s wishes.
3) The significance of the dream was not lost on Ivancevic, who since the pair last met had become one of the country’s most sought-after spiritual guidance counsellors, after developing what she describes as a psychic ability.
2) He got up, put on a pair of boxer shorts with love hearts on them, a black singlet and a pair of thongs, grabbing a torch and a plastic bag and set off into the night.
1) He found a big frangipani tree and picked every flower within arm’s reach and filled up the plastic bag. Deciding there still wasn’t enough, he roamed the streets of Bundeena, looking for frangipanis and even climbed a 2 -metre fence to collect the delicate flowers.
