In a poorly thought out marketing exercise called #AskRKelly, our favourite baked goods devouring R&B god with an honours degree in the show-to-hotel-room party progression, R Kelly, promoted the impending release of his new album Black Panties overnight by getting online and imploring anyone with a Twitter account to ask him questions.
Getting ready to answer some of my favorite #AskRKelly questions!! Start tweeting!
— R. Kelly (@rkelly) December 10, 2013
A phenomenally terrible idea from R Kelly’s point of view because even if some point in the future he happens to discover a talking unicorn named Dave, save a dozen kittens and Jennifer Lawrence from a building fire, poop out The Great American Novel, and force the Academy Awards to create a new category for Excellence In Online Hip Hopera Videos, the internet will never forget that he urinated on a minor that one time and that it wasn’t very cool. And instead of deciding to #AskRKelly anything serious just make icky jokes about urination and dating people in middle school.
And that’s exactly what they did.
It’s enough to make you want to trap yourself in the internet closet.
R.Kelly is taking questions on Twitter? Ooh, I have one.
Are you sure you wanna do this, Robert? #AskRKelly
— O is for Oblectation (@RantingOwl) December 10, 2013
So @rkelly only answered 16 questions,the perv really cannot do anything over 18 #AskRkelly
— Baba Drake (@BatanaiTuwe) December 10, 2013
#AskRKelly what is your preferred beverage before you pee on a girl?
— Mofos (@Mofos) December 10, 2013
what was your social media manager thinking? @rkelly #AskRKelly
— Brokey McPoverty (@brokeymcpoverty) December 10, 2013
How have you managed to stay off of To Catch a Predator, @rkelly? #AskRKelly
— Ghostbaece Killer (@bigDEElight) December 10, 2013
When you said that she reminded you of your Jeep, was it a Power Wheel? #AskRKelly
— Twerkoncé (@its_iriel) December 10, 2013
When you wrote 12 Play, were you teaching your boo how to count? #AskRKelly
— Petty Cakes (@Ur_N_Good_Hands) December 10, 2013
If age is nothing but a number, why don’t you like women with higher numbers? #AskRKelly
— Phil A. Minyon (@SirLDot) December 10, 2013
On a scale of 1 to Woody Allen, how fucked up are you? RT @rkelly Getting ready to answer some of my favorite #AskRKelly questions!!
— Jamie Nesbitt Golden (@thewayoftheid) December 10, 2013
Do you write love letters in the form of permission slips? #AskRKelly
— Kneel Before Oz (@letsgetfree13) December 10, 2013
Do you keep the fridge stocked with Lunchables just in case “company” comes over? #AskRKelly
— Kneel Before Oz (@letsgetfree13) December 10, 2013
