HEY KIDS.

DIDN’T NAIL DOWN A TICKET TO MARK RONSON’S GIG?

DO YOU HAVE GENITALS AND A CAMERA?

BAM! YOU’RE IN!

Just kidding, but maybe not, because who the fuck knows anymore.

Kirin J Callinan – guitarist, avant-garde pop master and one of a select few Mark Ronson stage guests / album collaborators – Instagrammed that, if you didn’t get a ticket to Mark Ronson’s show but really wanna go, alls you have to do is send a picture of your genitals to THIS GUY:

PSA: Send Dick Pics To Miike Snow For Last Minute Mark Ronson Tix

a.k.a. Andrew Wyatt a.k.a. the lead singer from Miike Snow, and your name will be on the door next to other VIPs and senders of genitalia.

Easier than sex for ticket money, and probs. comes with a lower chance of STIs. On that note, Kirin’s clean and ready to party, BTW.

PARTY TIME ??????????

A photo posted by Kirin J Callinan (@kirinjcallinan) on


Here’s the callout for a genital pics / ticket swap: 

HEY THERE’S A SiiiCKK PARTY @ THE HORDEN PAVILION TNITE AS WELL AS @ MARGARET COURT ARENA IN MELBOURNE TMORO @iammarkronson JUST DM UR NAME & A PICTURE OF UR GENITALS TO THIS GUY @wyattish AND I’LL FULLY MAKE SURE UR ON THE DOOR XX #andrewwyatt #genitals #doit

A photo posted by Kirin J Callinan (@kirinjcallinan) on


It’s the Melbourne show tonight, so if any of y’all followed instructions and got in to the Sydney gig last night, holla and let our Melbourne pals know.

FYI it’s mostly ladyz sending ’em in right now.

interestingly its been mostly chicks #thanksforkeepingitunisex @kirinjcallinan

A photo posted by Andrew Wyatt (@wyattish) on


GO ON, MAKE ANDREW WYATT’S DAY BY PROUDLY WHIPPING OUT YOUR WANG INSTEAD OF YOUR WALLET.

[Article is satire, obvs. Only send nudes to someone you trust, or, in a pinch, to writers you don’t know on the internet. KIDDING. OBVS.]