Turns Out Nobody’s Ever Actually Heard ‘Monster Mash’ And We Are Shook

We’ve all heard the classic Halloween coffin-banger Monster Mash, right? Well, sorry to totally destroy your childhood dress-up parties here, but you’re wrong.

A life-ruining Twitter user by the name of Lawrence Miles has the internet questioning everything after posting this real AF observation about the 1962 Bobby Pickett classic.

Hang on just a second here, Larry. Are you telling us that our entire lives have been a lie?

Oh, god. He’s right.

Lawrence’s observation kicked off a great deal of soul-searching for scores of Twitter users, as they realised that by this reasoning there’s plenty of other songs we’ve never actually heard, just heard ABOUT.

There’s The Trashmen‘s Surfin’ Bird.

We also have no idea what tunes the caucasian male was spinning in Wild Cherry‘s classic Play That Funky Music White Boy.

And will we ever hear the greatest song in the world?

While some token smartarses tried to pick apart Lawrence’s theory, they were shot down by even bigger smartarses well-versed in the tune’s lyrics.

There’s just no getting around this logic, folks. At least we’ll always have Michael Jackson‘s Thriller for all our Halloween banger needs.