If you looked at this poster that features a boatload of musical heavyweights you might think it’s a hell of a festival, right? I mean Diana Ross, Tame Impala, Tierra WhackPhoebe BridgersCaroline Polachek and BROCKHAMPTON all on the one bill? Surely some kind of stacked event and not, say, the soundtrack for the new Minions movie.

I’m sorry to ruin it for you but this is absolutely the lineup of artists on the soundtrack for the incoming film Minions: Rise Of Gru.

Produced by bespectacled fave Jack Anotonoff, this star-studded lineup is not at all for the next Glastonbury sideshow. They’ve all lent their pipes to the little yellow creatures everyone’s mum loves to post memes about en masse on Facebook.

The smoking gun of this truly insane effort/Antonoff cracking open his little black book of friends was on the producer’s Instagram. He posted up a tiny version of himself as a wee minion this week.

And if you look a little closer at the poster, you’ll notice there’s absolutely a tiny yellow bastard peeking out from the psychedelic patterns to the left of Diana Ross’ name.

God fuckin’ dammit. This is going to be the album of the year, isn’t it. This is going to win a Goddamned Grammy and probably an Oscar, too.

Christ knows how Antonoff managed to pull this one off but I’m utterly bemused by it. I need to listen to this soundtrack immediately so I can feel the last glob of my brain melt away leaving nothing but a smoothed-out bean where that vital organ used to be.

Bello? It’s me. Let me hear Kevin Parker sing a duet with Stuart the Minion right now. I don’t know if I want it but at this rate it’s probably what we deserve.

Unfortunately, we’ll have to keep you updated on this one because fuck knows it’s going to be beyond ridiculous.

Image: Twitter / Despicable Me