How many movies have you watched where some know-it-all picks up a guitar while sitting around a campfire prompting every man, woman, and dog to swoon like they’ve been pulled straight out of a Looney Tunes episode?
It’s both aspirational and infuriating in equal measures, purely because if you try to pull the same stunt in real life, people either roll their eyes or someone just slowly takes the guitar out of your hand so that everyone can get on with their night unperturbed.
Make no mistake though, knowing how to play an instrument has some serious advantages which can help you skate through life with ease and without having to kneecap your opponents. Here are a few prime reasons to stick with those monotonous music lessons in your elderly neighbour’s living room.
Everything Sounds Better Through Song
It’s true. Think back to all the occasions when you’ve had to break some bad news to someone, only to be met with an awkward silence so palpable, you’d rather be waterboarded in Guantanamo than be standing right where you are. Now, imagine having to explain to your girlfriend that you sold her parents’ house to fund your obsession with succulents, but in this scenario, you’re serenading her with U2‘s With Or Without You. Instantly better, right? Sure, you’re still guaranteed to be dropped from the Christmas card list and a lawsuit will inevitably follow (I mean, you did illegally sell someone else’s property), but you’ll always have that special song.
Awkward Icebreaker Activities
It’s impossible to talk to a former student without hearing absolute nightmares about the introductory class activities ruthless teachers put them through. Namely, throwing a ball to one another while the recipient has to stand up and list some fun facts about themselves. While most introverts collectively disintegrated out of sheer desperation, those of us still standing had to spout off shockingly generic traits and activities that allegedly made us different: favourite colour, favourite movie, first pet you had to bury with your bare hands, favourite hobbies, favourite place to cry, the list went on.
As someone who is decidedly inactive, having to explain what my hobbies are is a migraine waiting to happen. However, once you’ve accomplished learning an instrument, it’s simply a matter of dropping that little bombshell, basking in everyone’s admiration and taking your seat with a smug grin on your face. Anxiety-be-gone!
The Ultimate Deception
Once you start practicing the guitar, you’ll never have to work another day in your life. Well, you’ll still have to work for money, but you can say goodbye to errands and chores. Simply pop on an acoustic track to trick your roommates or parents into thinking you’re rehearsing and voila! You’ve got the next four hours free to binge on episodes of Dr. Phil.
The beauty of this sloth-like technique is that no one will want to interrupt you as they don’t want to encroach on your creative growth. If they even think about knocking on your door, just shout at them for getting in the way of your dream and they’ll sheepishly scurry away.
Guaranteed Ticket To Weddings
You may not be their favourite person. Hell, they may not even particularly like you, but does that matter when you’re a muso? Not in the slightest. If you reach the level of craftsmanship where friends and even acquaintances genuinely like listening to your music, well sir, you’ve just scored yourself a golden ticket to events across the board.
Jane, who you haven’t spoken to since primary school, might be hesitant at first when you suggest playing at her wedding, but once you explain that it will solve the whole “band vs. DJ” argument between her and her partner, she’ll be welcoming you with open arms and an open bar. Depending on how much you like the people getting married, you can even sneak in business cards to network with all of the loved-up attendees. Mo’ invites, mo’ weddings, mo’ open bars.
This one’s fairly straightforward. Once people catch wind of your superior abilities, you’ll be able to argue your way out of anything. Copped a parking ticket recently? Obviously, you were too busy killing the violin to have time to park properly. Instant way out of a fine. Left a mess in the kitchen? I hardly think anyone would expect you to spend one second doing something else when you could be gifting the world with your talent. Just think of it as a community service.
To get you on the right track, we’re hosting a music masterclass with the uber-talented Jack River in Melbourne. Check out more details here and make sure to register below.
To make sure your guitar, triangle or banjo is protected, jump on RACV’s Single Item Insurance. If you have to safeguard one thing, let it be your ticket to international stardom.
RACV cover is cheap as chips (you can cover your musical instruments from $1.21 per month) and everything is managed online through the Single Item Insurance Portal, where you can instantly file a claim if something goes wrong.
Head over to www.racv.com.au/single-item-insurance for more information and to get an online quote in 30 seconds.
Product issued by Insurance Australia Limited. Check out the PDS at racv.com.auImage: Forgetting Sarah Marshall