Justin Bieber has been accused of fathering the baby of a California woman today. An older Californian woman.
In a shock announcement that comes to many who believed Bieber was not yet at the age when he had functioning genitalia, the Canadian phemomenon was served with a lawsuit from Mariah Yeater, who is now 20 and claims she slept with the Biebs backstage when she was 19 and he was 17. Like we believe that, especially given that his mentor Usher was probably there too, and nobody can resist Usher. Just ask Usher.
Bieber’s lawyers have denied these “malicious, defamatory, and demonstrably false claims”, which are three big words Justin hasn’t learnt the meaning of just yet. As proof of Bieber’s innocence, the NY Post had this to say: “Bieber dates 19-year-old Selena Gomez. The two recently even adopted a puppy together.” NOBODY CHEATS ON A GIRL WHEN THEY HAVE JOINT CUSTODY OF A PUPPY.
In further developments, the defense presented is a non-ironic song about the entire situation:
Case closed.
via NY Post.
Image by: Robyn Beck via Getty
