John Mayer has gained a reputation as a complete douche and in a recent interview with Playboy magazine he totally lived up to that reputation with more offensive, douchey, self-congratulatory comments that we can possibly report, so instead we have compiled a little list for your reading pleasure:
Top Five John Mayer Quotes That Support The Theory That He Needs To Be Kicked Very Hard In The Nuts:
(1) “What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s”.
He recently said this in an interview with Playboy. Being the whitest, college boy, brown-leather-jacket-wearing white guy on the scene, that’s probably not true. Secondly, did you just compare yourself to an African American? Cutting a track with Common doesn’t make you a valid info source on the black America zeitgeist.
(2) “My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick”.
This was after being asked if black women throw themselves at him.
(Deep breath…)
Mayer, even if the cats at Playboy are stroking your ego and plying you with top shelf whiskey does not give you license to speak about your “dick” as if it is a person. Name-checking members of the KKK is not really in your best interests either – even if your “struggle is similar to one black dude’s”. Dick.
(3) “Sexually it was crazy. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, ‘I want to quit my life and just fucking snort you?”
In reference to his relationship with Jessica Simpson. Oddly, the strangest thing about this comment is the idea that J-Simps is really good in the sack.
(4) “I’ve always said I’ve got the coolest fans, and I brag about you like grandchildren when I talk to other artists.”
But ARE teenage girls, large-breasted cougars and frat boys “cool”?
(5) “Your body is a wonderland.”
Kick him in his earnest, MOR, Fender Stratocaster-playing nuts. Hard.
Title Image by Christopher Polk via Getty
