James Franco, Agyness Deyn, LiLo, Terry Richardson and R.E.M. Walk Into A Bar

So the great and powerful James FrancoPatti SmithAgyness DeynTerry RichardsonLindsay Lohan and Michael Stipe walk into a dingy LA dive bar – just kidding, Lindsay’s already in there – and after a few surly temples decide to shoot a music video for “Blue“, a spoken word song featuring Smith as muse and taken from R.E.M.’s final album, ‘Collapse Into Now‘; you remember, the one that came out last year before the band’s dissolution

Never not ready to shoot his latest art project starring James Franco, James Franco opens up his hemp satchel and pulls out the Lumiere bros’s camera, some 35mm film and starts filming himself in the drag get up from his Candy cover shoot. Between ‘Lindsay as Me’ selfies, Uncle Terry unzips his fly to reveal the point-and-shoot camera he always keeps firmly planted on his crotch and uses to shoot La Lohan whenever she’s not making good decisions. It’s almost out of battery. 
Things start getting a little weird, at which point Agyness Deyn calls in a chopper to go hang out with Giovani Ribisi. All the while Bret Easton Ellis and Lana Del Rey have (unknown to our exemplary entourage) been sitting in a corner booth positively seething over how they came up with the same idea for a hazy LA noir music video that explored the disillusioned trappings of this 21st Century Hollywood lifestyle ages ago. It was going to be called ‘Carmen Rides Through The Canyons‘. They spend a good ten minutes drafting angry tweets at the offenders before returning to their usual routine of scrolling back and forth between their @ mentions and the internal camera on their iPhone 5s. A good time was had by all. Here is the finished product.

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