Internet Is SHOCKED To Learn Ariana’s ‘Side To Side’ Is About 2 Much Dick

Specifically, it’s about boning so hard you can’t walk straight.

“That whole song is kind of about, you know, soreness – riding leading to soreness,” Grande confirmed to MTV News. “‘Ride dick bicycle’ is the lyric, indeed.”

Here’s that bit:

This the new style with the fresh type of flow

Wrist icicle, ride dick bicycle

Come true yo, get you this type of blow

If you wanna Minaj I got a tricycle

Sex positivity has been seeping into pop culture ever since the Divinyls’s pro-fap anthem ‘I Touch Myself‘ was released in 1990, but the internet was floored all the same that ~pop princess Ariana Grande~ was singing a song about a really good dicking.

They reacted accordingly:

Jack just explained that the song Side to Side is about getting railed so hard you can’t walk. SO MANY EMOTIONZ.

— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) August 30, 2016

So I figured out what side to side is really about pic.twitter.com/gC9IMs1aJc

— Bob Boy (@dominican0_523) September 1, 2016

I just found out what side to side is about I’m pic.twitter.com/ydIv7eG0xZ

— murph (@maddiemurphy117) September 1, 2016

This is about Side to Side pic.twitter.com/CGzpm6weSa

— ?? (@chaoticney) August 30, 2016

ariana grande side to side is about riding dick #SideToSide pic.twitter.com/nuQ8Nsv9ak

— Perfect Illusion (@JaMoMo0) August 31, 2016

i just found out what the song ‘side to side’ is actually about pic.twitter.com/0bLUDJdDZU

— antonio (@antoniodelotero) September 2, 2016

So I figured out what side to side is really about pic.twitter.com/gC9IMs1aJc

— Bob Boy (@dominican0_523) September 1, 2016

@ArianaGrande before vs after the side to side mv pic.twitter.com/Q9NUxw8DRv

— sofia (@yoursadore) August 29, 2016

Of course, a bunch of people are firmly planting themselves in the ‘why are you even shocked’ camp, because this was always going to happen.

WAIT INTERNET! I thought Ariana Grande’s “Side to Side” was about appetizers…

— Calum Worthy (@CalumWorthy) September 1, 2016

I’m sorry, did you all initially think Side To Side was just about SoulCycle?

— Scaachi (@Scaachi) September 2, 2016

Wait, hold the phone. People are JUST NOW realizing that Side to Side by Ariana Grande is about riding the D. Welcome to the convo ??

— natasha_nicole8 (@Natasha_Nicole8) September 1, 2016

Whatever. You, as they say, do you.

Photo: YouTube / Side To Side.